


Minequest

by rejectedusername



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, F/M, Parallel Universes, mindfucking, minecraft au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-04
Updated: 2015-04-23
Packaged: 2018-03-10 12:43:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 28,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3290759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rejectedusername/pseuds/rejectedusername
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when six idiots play a weird Minecraft mod and are transported to another world in which they are heroes and must save that world from the wrath of the Ender Dragon? Well I guess that’s just another day working at Achievement Hunter. </p><p>This is just your average Minecraft AU. it's got dragons and creepers and magic and achievement hunter and all around mindfuckery. What more could a reader ask for?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The New Mod

It started off as a regular morning in the Achievement Hunter office. Everyone was slowly but surely arriving at the office and taking their seats at their desks. Nobody had any idea of what they would be filming that day yet. Before too long Geoff finally walking into the office to start the day.

“Good morning sluts.” Geoff said as he made his way to his desk. Everyone turned towards him as he took his seat.

“And this is the part where you tell us what we’re filming today.” Jack said.

“Shit, yeah I should do that.” Geoff said as he quickly got up to look at what they had planned on their whiteboard.

“How do you forget to do your fucking job?” Michael asked. Ray snickered at this.

“Hey you try babysitting, like, eleven people every day and see where your memory gets you.” Geoff said as he continued to search the board for that day’s agenda. “Ah. I got it.” He said as he pointed at the board.

“Ok now that you found it are you to tell us what it is?” Ryan asked.

“Minequest.” Geoff answered.

“What’s Minequest?” Gavin asked.

“Ryan, you found it a while back. Want to explain it?” Geoff said as he turned towards Ryan. The other Achievement Hunters quickly did the same in anticipation on an answer.

“Shit I almost forgot about that.”

“Well you wouldn’t shut up about it when you first found it.”

“Alright, alright. After Galacticraft, I thought it wouldn’t be a bad idea to look for other cool pc Minecraft mods. I found this one and it looked pretty good.” Ryan answered.

“Ok yeah but what is it?” Ray asked.

“Well it’s like Minecraft, but with missions and quest.”

“Sounds dumb.”

“I mean, NPCs make you go look for certain items in certain places. Some places have bosses. It’s also got this fantasy vibe to it.”

“So what is it like Skyrim but with creepers?” Jack asked.

“Like Skyrim with creepers, skeletons, endermen, zombies, spiders, etc.”

“I’m pretty sure Skyrim had skeletons.” Gavin said.

“You know what I mean dumbass.”

“Ryan’s salty early today.” Ray said.

“I am not salty. I am a well-balanced flavorful dish.”

“Whatever you say salty master.”

“It’s like you aren’t even trying”

“Anyway, since this made Ryan rock hard when he first found it, we’re going to see what the hype was about.” Geoff said.

“Sounds good.” Jack said as he turned towards his monitor. “Have you sent us links to where we can download it?”

“Yeah I’ll do that real quick.” Ryan said as he pulled up the link on his computer.

“Did the guy who made this make anything else?” Geoff asked.

“I don’t think so. This probably took a while to do and they haven’t gotten around to doing anything else yet.” Ryan answered as he sent everyone the link. Everyone quickly pulled it up on their own computers.

“This guy sounds like some sort of fucking loser.” Michael said as he looked at the preview for the mod.

“What the hell kind of name is ‘dragonsend01’?” Gavin asked.

“Maybe he had a weird boner for dragons or some shit.” Ray answered.

“Why are we talking about dragon boners?” Geoff asked.

“Don’t dragons just have sex with gold or something?” Ray asked.

“Sounds like something Joel would do too.” Jack said.

“I don’t want to hear anything about what that guy does in his spare time.” Geoff said. “I couldn’t give any less of a shit about what weird shit that man is into.”

“How the hell did we get from talking about dragons to Joel’s junk?” Ryan asked.

“Don’t know don’t care.” Geoff said.

“Anyway. You’re sure this is an ok mod right? It doesn’t have any bugs or viruses attached right?” Michael asked.

“It shouldn’t. When I found it originally, I thought it played very well. There was a lot to do in it. It was really addictive for a while.” Ryan answered honestly.

“And you found this at home right?” Jack asked.

“Yes but I don’t see why that makes much of a difference. It worked fine and was pretty fun.”

“I don’t know. I just wanted to ask because our computers are probably different than whatever you have at home.”

“Honestly these will probably run it better.” Gavin added.

“What’s that logic? Is it because that’s all we fucking do on these computers?” Ray asked.

“Well yeah. I mean I know we edit and shit with these too but it’s mostly for games right?”

“Actually. B Team does most of the editing now remember.” Michael said as he pointed toward the room where the B Team worked.

“Yeah. With Lindsay and Kdin and those other two guys we hired who nobody cares about.” Ray said. 

“Anyway, I think the six of us should do some test footage to see if this game is even gonna work with six people.” Geoff said as the start screen of the game appeared on his monitor. 

“I don’t see why it wouldn’t.” Ryan said as his monitor displayed the start screen as well.

“Alright then let’s fucking do this then.” 

“LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET’S PLAY!” Ray yelled as he clicked start on his own screen. Everyone else soon followed.

“Ok so are we going to turn on our capture cards or…?” Michael asked.

“Gross Ryan I thought you said this mod didn’t have any weird bugs or anything wrong with it?” Ray said with disgust.

“It shouldn’t I don’t know what’s up with your screen.” Ryan said.

“Yeah, mine’s all jacked up too.” Michael said.

“Have you ever considered operator error?”

“We literally just pressed the start button!” Geoff exclaimed.

“This is really weird. I swear this didn’t happen when I found it originally.” Ryan said as he stared at his own warped screen.

“My screen is going all swirly.” Gavin said as he stared deeply into the monitor.

“Is anyone else feeling super light headed all of a sudden?” Jack asked.

“What the fuck is… going… on…” Gavin said as he slowly lowered his head onto his desk.

“Gavin it’s not nap time wake the fuck-” Geoff started to say but was interrupted by the sound of Jack’s head smacking his desk.

“Ryan something’s wrong…” Ray said as he too passed out at his desk.

“I swear I don’t know…” Ryan said as he was the next to fall unconscious.

“Michael I swear to god if you pass out too-“

“Too late. Going down.” Michael said as he lost consciousness.

“Shit!” Was the last thing Geoff said as he finally joined the rest of Achievement Hunter in an unconscious state.


	2. Ray's Rude Awakening

“Meow.” the sound of a cat came out of almost nowhere. 

Ray groaned at the noise, “Jesus shut up give me five more minutes.” He grumbled. Suddenly a cat paw smacked him in the face. “Alright! Alright!” He said as he finally opened his eyes. Staring back at him were the large eyes of an ocelot. “Holy… where did you come from?” He said confused. The ocelot began to purr as it sat itself in Ray’s lap. “Who do you belong to?” He said to himself as he checked the collar on the jungle cat. “…Perceval?”

“What the…” Ray said as he finally looked around the room. He found himself sleeping in a very large dirt room. Scattered about the room were various chests. On the wall behind him were enough paintings to cover the entire wall. On the other wall was a large chest and a cauldron. In the corner of the room was a severed head. “…This is not the Achievement Hunter office.” 

Ray quickly jumped out of bed, but immediately felt dizzy. “Fuck… my head. What happened?” He slowly surveyed the room once more. “Is this… my house in Achievement City?” He said as he walked over to the severed head in the corner of the room. He stared at it for a moment. “Holy shit is it!”

There were many questions running through Ray’s head at that point. How the hell was he in his Minecraft house? _Why_ was he in his Minecraft house? Did this happen to anyone else? In fact, where was everyone else? To Ray, that last question seemed the most important. “I gotta find the others.” He said as he quickly raced to the front door of his house.

He opened the door and was amazed to see what lied just beyond it. He looked at the streets outside and saw a bustling and working village. There were shops lining the street with people trading there goods. There was a group of children chasing a herd of chickens in the middle of the road. “Where… am I?” 

Before Ray had enough time to react, something mushy hit him in the back of the head. He slowly reached behind his head to figure out what had just hit him. He looked at his hand to find that he had just been hit in the back of the head with a cake. “God… DAMMIT!” Ray screamed. He quickly slammed the door to his house and started to walk away. 

He didn’t have time to deal with the bullshit accuracy of his house. He needed to find the others and he needed to do it fast. “GEOFF?! MICHAEL?! RYAN?! COME ON GUYS WHERE ARE YOU!!” Ray screamed in the streets of the unfamiliar village. He could not have been the only one here right? 

After what felt like hours of screaming, Ray felt someone tapping on his shoulder. “Wha-” Ray said as he turned around. He quickly stopped himself as a saw Gavin waving at him. He was dressed in armor that looked similar to his minecraft skin. “Oh thank Christ someone else is here.” Ray sighed in relief.

“Yeah. Hello to you too.” Gavin said with a smirk.

“What’s so funny? I’ve been worried sick. I thought I was alone!” Ray said angrily.

“So did I. but it’s just…”

“It’s just what Gavin?”

Gavin began to snicker, “You’re covered in cake and you’re still in your boxers.” Gavin said as he laughed.

Ray looked down at himself to confirm, and sure enough he was only wearing a wife beater and boxers. He sighed and face-palmed. “Rough morning I guess.” Gavin finally said.

“You have no idea.” Ray looked up at Gavin again. “Where the hell did you find your clothes huh? Did you wake up in them or something?” he asked.

“No I found them in my house.”

“Wait, you woke up in your house too?” 

“Yeah, after we all passed out cuz of that weird game, I woke up in my Minecraft house. It was super accurate too. Anyway, I found my clothes, got dressed and went to go find everyone else.”

“This is so messed up.” Ray said.

“You’re telling me. I still don’t know where everyone else is.” Gavin said sadly.

“Well maybe we should go-” Ray was cut off by the sound of a man clearing his throat. 

Gavin and Ray turned to face him. “Pardon me, Sir Narvaez and Sir Free.” He said.

“Matt? Is that you?” Ray said.

“Yes, Sir Narvaez, My name is Matt Bragg. I have come to-”

“How the bloody hell did you get in here too? I thought it was just the six of us who passed out.” Gavin said.

“I can assure you, Sir Free, that I have lived in the Kingdom of Achievement my entire life.”

“So that’ where we are!” Gavin said.

“I beg your pardon, but are you serious right now?” Matt said annoyed.

“Sorry. It’s been an off morning.” Ray said.

Matt looked him up and down. “I can tell. Anyway, I have an important message from the crown, they request the presence of both of you at once.”

“But wait! Do you-“

“I have already delivered this message to the other four knights at their homes, if that is what you are asking, Sir Narvaez.” Matt replied quickly.

“Yes, that does answer my question, and quit calling us ‘Sir’. You know our names are Ray and Gavin. Just call us that like you normally do.” Ray said.

“Very well then… Ray. Make your way to the castle as soon as possible. But I do recommend putting clothes on first. I do not think the queen is interested in seeing you like this.” Matt said as he walked away.

“So, who do you think is the queen?” Gavin asked.

“It doesn’t matter who the queen is. Let’s just go to the castle, find everyone else, and figure out what the fuck is going on.” Ray said ask he started back in the direction of his house.

“Wait for me!” Gavin said as he ran after him. 

The two of them reached Ray’s house. “Ok stay outside while I get dressed. Shit’s one room and I don’t need you looking at my junk.” Ray said as he stepped inside his house.

“Pssssssssssssssshhh” Gavin said as he waited for Ray.

After a little while, Ray emerged from his house dressed in a suit of armor that matched his Minecraft skin as well. “Ray, you look top!” Gavin said with a smile.

“Thanks. I also found a shit ton of roses and a diamond sword in there. Totally ready to get my quest on. How about you? Did you find any weapons in your house that you couldn’t hurt yourself with?” Ray replied.

“Ray please.” Gavin pulled out a bow and some arrows. “I’m totally Mark Nutt here.”

“Fine just don’t point that shit at me.” 

“Whatever. Anyway where do you think the castle is?” Gavin asked.

“I don’t know. But I think the large building that looks like a castle might be a good first place to look.” Ray said as he pointed to a large castle sitting on a hill in to distance.

“I knew that.”

“No you didn’t. Now come on haft-wit.” Ray said as he started walking towards the castle. 

“It’s quest time for X-Ray and Vav!” Gavin exclaimed as he followed behind Ray.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's more set up. but at least there's Minecraft now


	3. Long Live The Queen

Ray and Gavin made their way into the castle. They were once again greeted my Matt at the entrance.

“I see you finally managed to arrive.” Matt said.

“Yeah well it wasn’t that hard of a place to find.” Ray replied.

“I should hope so. The castle is hard to miss.” Matt replied as he opened the doors for the two. On the other side of the entrance was another man waiting for them. “Jeremy, here, will show you to where the other knights are waiting. The queen will call upon you when she is ready.”

“I thought you said it was urgent?”

“Yeah and how did you get here, Jeremy?” Gavin asked.

“I… walked to this spot?” Jeremy replied, confused.

“Well when you’re done being… whatever you’re trying to be… just follow him.” Matt said. 

Ray and Gavin just shrugged and followed Jeremy down the entrance hall. Jeremy stopped in front of a door and opened it. 

“I’ll have to ask you to wait here until the queen is ready to see you.” Jeremy said as he gestured inside. Gavin and Ray looked inside to find, Geoff, Jack, Ryan and Michael sitting down. They too were dressing in armor that matched their skins in Minecraft.

“MICOOL!” Gavin yelled as he ran over to his boi and jumped on his lap.

“Jesus calm the fuck down!” Michael yelled. Ray quickly entered the room as Jeremy shut the door behind him.

“So… What’s up?” Ray said awkwardly.

“I don’t have a single fucking clue.” Geoff said with a sigh.

“Do you two have any idea of what’s going on?” Jack asked.

“No. we sorta just woke up in houses that looked like out ones in Minecraft and ended up here. But it’s weird since the new guys are here but they’re acting like this shit is normal.” Ray said.

“Same. I don’t really understand what happened…” Ryan said.

“Who do you think this ‘queen’ is anyway?” Gavin asked.

“Maybe this is some kind of quest bullshit and she’s going to tell us what to do.” Michael said.

“I really just wish someone would explain why we’re all part of this collective fever dream.” Ray said.

“Do you think this is some sort of dream?” Jack asked.

“Well yeah. We passed out remember.”

“Well either way, I don’t know how to greet a queen. Gavin how do you greet a queen?” Geoff asked.

“What? How the bloody hell am I supposed to know how to greet a damn queen?!” Gavin replied.

“You’re British. They have to teach that in school there.” Ryan said.

“Ryan please-” Gavin was interrupted by the sound the door opening.

“The queen is ready for you.” Jeremy said. The six men got up and followed Jeremy out of the room.

“Quick question. When you greet a queen, you’re supposed to bow right?” Jack asked.

“… Yes. You’ve met with her plenty of times. You should know this stuff.” Jeremy replied.

“Just checking. It’s been an off morning for everyone.” 

Jeremy sighed. The group finally reached a large, extravagant door. “I present to you, Queen Lindsay Tuggey.” He said as he opened the door.

The men looked inside the throne room. It was decorated with many paintings along the walls. In the center of the room was an ornate, golden throne. Sitting upon that throne was the one and only, Lindsay Tuggey. She was wearing a black and white gown, with a simple crown upon her head.

“Lindsay?!” Michael yelled in surprise.

“It doesn’t matter just bow your fucking head dumbass!” Geoff said as he pushed Michael’s head down. The rest of Achievement Hunter bowed down.

Lindsay got up from her throne and began walking towards the men. “Welcome, Sir Ramsey, Sir Pattillo, Sir Haywood, Sir Free, Sir Narvaez, and… Sir Jones. You may rise.” The men quickly rose to their feet.” Before we get to business, I must ask, what was up with that outburst? It is as though you were surprised to see me here.” She said.

“I… I don’t know what I was expecting.” Michael mumbled as he looked away.

“You’re so cute when you’re embarrassed.” Lindsay said quietly.

“What?”

“I didn’t say anything.” She replied quickly.

“If I may.” Ryan said. “It’s been an off morning for everyone.”

“So I’ve heard. Something about cake and running around naked.” Lindsay said with a smirk.

“Motherfucker.” Ray said quietly.

“Anyway. Now that the pleasantries are out of the way, I’d like to move this meeting to a smaller room. We have urgent business to discuss. Follow me this way.” She said as she turned and walked towards a smaller door in the side of the throne room. The six men quickly followed behind.

“Dude why are you blushing so hard. It’s just your wife.” Jack whispered to Michael.

“I don’t know ok. This whole this is really fucking weird.” he replied as Lindsay opened the door. Inside was a table and a map posted up on the wall. There was already a woman sitting at the table.

“Everybody take your seats.” Lindsay ordered. Everyone listened and quickly sat down. Then Lindsay cleared her throat. “As you all know, this continent has four allied kingdoms. The Kingdoms of Achievement, Livecast, Rose Court, and Machinima have been at peace for many years, despite what knight rivalries have lead you to believe. The reason were are able to stop ourselves from fighting with each other, is because we all have a greater common enemy, The Ender Dragon.”

“Oh crap.” Michael said.

“I haven’t even got to the urgent part yet. You know this shit already.” 

“Like I said. It’s been a really off morning, my queen.” Ryan said.

“In this room we are on a first name basis. You should have known that too. God how off of a morning is it?” 

“You have no idea.” Geoff said as he put his head in his hands.

“All hangovers aside, every generation there is a person with the ability to communicate with the dragon and keep them at bay.” 

“And that.” The woman that had already been in the room stood up. “Is my job, the name’s Kdin Jenzen. Dragon Speaker. It’s awesome to meet you all. I’ve heard so many stories.” Kdin said with a smile.

“Sit down asshole. We already know who you are.” Ray said as he rolled his eyes.

“You do?” she said in surprise.

“Kdin please sit down so we can move on.” Lindsay said.

“Yes ma’am” she said as she quickly sat down.

“Anyway, as of yesterday, Kdin informed me that the dragon has shut off all communication with her. This means that the dragon is planning to attack the kingdoms.”

“So you want us to kill the Ender Dragon?” Gavin asked.

“Not alone. As I have said, the four kingdoms are allied with one another. I would like the six of you to take Kdin and warn the other kingdoms of the upcoming doom, recruit their knights, and amass a large party to contain the dragon once more.”

“Why can’t we just go kill it?” Michael asked.

“I don’t believe it has left its own realm yet.” Kdin answered.

“This task must be done before it leaves. The fate of the world is at stake.” Lindsay said.

“And you are really trusting the fate of the world in our hands?” Geoff asked.

“Of course, you six are the best warriors in the land. It’s not like you haven’t saved the kingdom before.”

“… Right…”

“My personal blacksmith has been upgrading your weapons for the journey ahead of you. I recommend picking them up and leaving at once.”

“Pick up weapons, recruit other knights from other kingdoms, kill a mother fucking dragon. Got it.”

“Alright. Now the seven of you, get the fuck out of my throne room. I got other shit to do. Keeping the peasants from panicking and whatnot.” Lindsay said as she pointed at the door.

“So… I… guess we’ll see you later then.” Michael said as he stood up. 

“Yes, baby, go kickass.” Lindsay replied as she waved him off. 

The rest of the group got up and walked out of the planning room and then out of the throne room.

“I still am so confused.” Gavin said.

“I honestly thought we were going to get a clue. But nope. Nothing.” Ryan said.

“Guys… I want to go home.” Michael said.

“But you live here.” Kdin said, as she looked at the group with confusion.

The six men groaned at that statement. And thus their adventure to save the land begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now the quest starts


	4. Dragon Born and Raised

By the time everybody had gotten their stuff together, it was the late afternoon. The Achievement Hunters plus Kdin were standing outside the gates of the kingdom, ready to embark of their quest.

“I can’t believe my wife is the blacksmith here.” Geoff said.

“I can’t believe that surprises you.” Gavin replied.

“No… it’s just… is everyone here?”

“I don’t know. We haven’t seen everyone.”

“If this really is a dream, then yeah probably.” Ray said.

“And how the hell are we all having the same dream?” Michael asked.

“How do I know that you’re not just saying that in my head?” 

“He makes a valid point.” Ryan added.

“Just shut up alright. Come on let’s just go…” Michael said.

“Are you sure it’s a good idea to go. It’s almost sunset. Maybe we should just head out in the morning.” Jack suggested.

“Actually, since Livecast is a four day trip on foot, it would probably be better if we just started now. There are some ok spots to camp.” Kdin said as she began to walk.” So… are you coming?”

The rest of Achievement Hunter sighed as began to follow behind Kdin. 

“Wait… Why am I leading? Shouldn’t you lead Geoff… or should I call you Sir Ramsey?” Kdin asked.

“Geoff is fine and please continue leading. It’s been an off morning…” Geoff replied.

“It’s like, 3 in the afternoon.”

“Whatever, just go.” Geoff barked and Kdin finally got the message. 

Kdin continued to lead them men along a path through the woods. The Achievement Hunters followed her in an awkward silence. 

After a few hours of traveling in silence, Kdin stopped the group in a small area of the forest where the trees were less dense.

“This will be a good place to camp for the night” she said as she dropped her supplies at her feet. 

“Alright. If you think this is safe…” Geoff said as he set his stuff down.

“Well, I don’t think mobs tend to spawn around here, so we should be ok. I think we should set up a watch schedule though.”

“I’ll go first.” Ryan volunteered.

“Well that was easy.” Kdin said.

“It’s kinda the least I can do… since this is kind of my fault…” Ryan said quietly

“How-”

“Yeah. It kind of is.” Ray said bitterly as he dropped his stuff.

“… Alright then. We should probably start on a campfire.” Kdin continued.

“I got it.” Jack said. “Do you need me to gather logs real quick?”

“Are you sure you don’t want Gavin to start it?” Kdin asked.

“What? I don’t know how to start a bloody campfire without a lighter!” Gavin exclaimed.

“What… the fuck is up with you guys?”

“Maybe…” Geoff started “The dragon is doing so fucked up shit to a brains…?”

“That sounds like the biggest load of horse shit.” Michael said.

“Actually. The dragon is known to play mind games with unsuspecting victims. But why now?” Kdin said.

“To make things difficult.” Ray said.

“Anyway. I’m going to go get fire wood. Gavin come with me.” Jack said. As he began to walk into the woods.

“Alright. Team Trial and Error!” Gavin said as he followed Jack into the woods.

The rest of the group set up the rest of the camp site for the night and gathered around the area where their future campfire would be.

“So… what’s your story then?” Geoff asked Kdin.

“Huh?”

“Yeah. What’s your job exactly?”

“Well…” Kdin began. “Ever since I can remember I’ve had a second voice in my head. When I was little my parents just thought I had an imaginary friend. After I told them the voice referred to itself as the Ender Dragon, the immediately brought me to the castle where I learned that I was the lone link between the world we know and the force that can destroy it. Ever since then, I’ve been learning the history of this land and how to be a proper diplomat to keep the Ender Dragon at bay. But then, it just stopped talking to me. So now I know we are all in danger.”

“…Fuck.” Michael said. 

“I mean, I have hope that everything will work out in the end. You six are the bravest knights in the land.”

“Yeah… I doubt that” Ray said.

“Don’t be modest about it. You all have protected the kingdoms from thousands of mobs, you’ve traveled to the nether and battled your demons. Hell you even defeated the spirit of the darkest wizard and his Minotaur. Except we’re really not supposed to talk about that last one around certain people.” Kdin said as she glanced over at Ryan.

“Why do I have a bad feeling about that last thing?” Ryan asked. Kdin coughed.

“So you’re saying we did all those brave things?” Geoff asked.

“Yes. So with the help of everyone united, we can take down the dragon.” Kdin said.

“How old is this dragon?” Ray asked.

“Some scholars say that it is older than time itself. Why?”

“And it hasn’t acted up before?” Michael asked.

“If it has it’s been lost in the records of Achievement Kingdom. The Kingdom of Rose Court will probably have better record on that though. They are way better at history.”

“Look can’t we just quickly offer a virgin sacrifice or something to satisfy that dragon and go home?” Ray asked.

“We don’t have any virgins.” Michael replied.

“Well I got nothing.”

“Maybe we should just stick to the script. It would probably be safer that way.” Ryan said.

“Look, I really want to go home, but Ryan’s right. No going rogue.” Geoff.

“That’s the spirit.” Michael said sarcastically.

“What you have a better idea?”

“No, I just want to get this over with so we can figure out how to get the hell out of here.” 

“What do you mean get the hell out of here?” Kdin asked

“It’s nothing. Don’t worry about.” Ryan sighed.

“What the fuck is taking Gavin and Jack so long?” Ray asked.

“Maybe they started sucking each other’s dick.” Geoff replied.

“Eh. I doubt it.”

“Is it really just a lot of dick jokes with you guys?” Kdin asked.

“Yes. And singing. And putting stupid shit we say on shirts…” Ray answered.

“Wow. I’m not gonna lie, even if you are being effected by weird dragon mind magic, you aren’t how I expected you to be at all.”

“Well what were you expecting?” Michael asked.

“I don’t know, less crudeness and more nobility. Like stoic and serious and stuff.”

Ryan, Geoff, Michael, and Ray burst out laughing. 

“Jesus, you have a lot to learn fugs.” Geoff said.

“Huh?”

“Ok seriously though, where the hell are Jack and Gavin?” Michael commented.

As if on cue, a loud scream came out from the woods.

“Some girl’s in trouble!” Kdin said, immediately standing up.

“That’s not a girl dumbass!” Michael yelled as he quickly got up and grabbed the sword he had been provided with earlier that day.

Gavin ran into the camp site. “SKELETONS! SKELETONS!” he screamed.

“Where’s Jack?!” Geoff yelled as he got up and grabbed his own sword.

“He’s beating them with a pickaxe!” 

Suddenly Jack came running back into the camp site followed by a hoard of Skeletons.

“You brought them back here?!” Ray yelled.

“Well I’m SORRY I could fight them alone!” he angrily replied.

“GUYS NOW IS NOT THE TIME!” Kdin yelled as she handed everyone else their weapons.

“Fuck it! Let’s kick ass!” Michael yelled as he charged at the hoard of skeletons.

“Michael!” Gavin yelled.

“Come on, idiot!” Geoff yelled as he joined Michael in the fighting. He was quickly followed by Ray, Ryan and Kdin.

Gavin sighed. “Fuck it all.” Then he quickly grabbed his bow and arrows and joined everyone else in fighting the hoard of skeletons he had brought back to their camp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really going to try and update more frequently. If not just to spite my roommate who says I will never finish a fanfic


	5. Explain it Like We're Five

The skeletons kept coming from the woods faster than any of the men could fight them off. Gavin attempted to shoot as many as he could from a distance. He was surprised at how well he could hit the constantly moving targets, but it wasn’t enough to stop the horde. Each man in their own right was surprised at how well they could manage their swords, but it didn’t make the fight that much easier.

Jack struggled the most with trying to keep skeletons away from him. This was mostly due to the fact that he didn’t have time to grab a sword, and was only armed with a diamond pickaxe. 

“Guys! Could someone please help me!?” Jack cried as he swung his pickaxe as the skeletons.

“We’re pretty busy over here too if you haven’t noticed!” Michael yelled back. He then proceeded to knock the head off of a skeleton that was aiming its bow.

Jack sighed as he continued to fight. When he tried to swing his pickaxe again, it slipped out of his hands.

“FUCK!” He cried as more skeletons made their way over towards him. Jack had no choice but to fight with his hands. He tried to punch the skeletons that were surrounding him. His punches were doing very little damage. “GUYS PLEASE!” he cried out again, only to have his cry fall upon deaf ears again. Then his punches became more desperate. Jack squeezed his eyes shut as he swung his fist. Then suddenly he felt his fist make contact with the skull of a skeleton. The skull cracked under the force of his fist and the skeleton toppled over.

“What the fuck...?” Jack said as he looked as the now destroyed skeleton. Then he looked down his hands. “WHAT THE FUCK?!” his hands had a faint glow to them.

“DON’T GET DISTRACTED, JACK! KEEP PUNCHING THE FUCKING SKELETONS!” Kdin yelled as she slashed away at the skeletons that surrounded her.

“Right…” Jack said to himself. He looked back down at his hands again as they continued to glow. Then he balled up his fist and hit another skeleton. This time he knocked the skeleton back.

“GO JACK!” Gavin yelled in encouragement.

Jack continued the hit the skeletons with his fist until they were no longer surrounding him. The rest of the group had managed to defeat the rest of the skeletons and were ready to relax.

“Whoa buddy! How the fuck did you manage to punch all those skeletons?” Geoff asked.

Jack looked down at his hands, which were still glowing. “I have no fucking clue. Why are my hands glowing and how do I make it stop?” 

“Wait Jack has glowy hands?” Michael asked as he walked over towards Jack. “Dude. What the fuck?”

“Is it like an armor thing?” Gavin asked

“He’s not wearing gloves idiot!”

“Wait, wait, wait.” Kdin said as she walked over to jack and pushed Michael and Gavin out of the way. “You don’t know what that is?”

“No. I’m kind of concerned about it actually.” Jack said.

“How do you not know?! It’s your fucking power. Everybody has one.” Kdin replied in shock.

“We have powers?” Gavin asked curiously.

“That is literally what I just said.”

“How did we get them?” Ryan asked.

“I don’t know everyone is just born with one!” Kdin said, now starting to get frustrated.

“Ok that’s great and all. How do I turn this off?” Jack asked, still concerned with his glowing hand situation.

“I don’t know just concentrate on thinking about turning it off.”

Jack stared at his hands some more when finally the glow faded.

“Oh thank god.” Jack sighed in relief.

“Alright, alright. Did you and Gavin still manage to get some wood?” Kdin asked.

“Yeah I bet Jack gave Gavin some wood.” Ray joked.

“FIRE wood!” Kdin quickly clarified

“No, we were kind of preoccupied with the whole skeleton thing. But there were a bunch of logs and branches right near here. I’ll go get them real quick.” Jack said as he quickly went to the edge of the camp sight.

“I can’t believe there were enough sticks right here.” Gavin said with a huff.

“I can’t believe you brought a horde of skeletons right to us.” Ryan said.

“And I can’t believe you don’t know anything about your powers!” Kdin exclaimed. “What the fuck happened to you all?!”

“Look if we knew we would have told you by now.” Geoff said.

“I’m back.” Jack said as he dumped the firewood he was carrying in the middle of the camp sight. “Now we just have to light it.”

“And then we’ll be warm!” Gavin said with joy. 

“Also maybe Kdin can fill us in on the other things we should know since everything is all screwed up anyway.” Ryan said with a sigh.

“Alright. Fine. But first,” Kdin walked over to Gavin. “Gavin, I need you to put your hands out towards the fire pit, and concentrate. Think about putting a fire there.”

“What are you on about?” Gavin asked.

“Just fucking do it!”

“This is going to end stupidly.” Geoff sighed.

The rest of the group watched as suddenly, a small burst of fire shot out from Gavin’s hands and landed in the fire pit, lighting the wood on fire. Gavin stared at his hands with the same awe and confusion that Jack had before. 

“I have fire hands?” Gavin asked.

“Yep.” Kdin said.

“Funny. I was expecting slow mo hands.” Ray said.

“I met a foreign knight who could do that once. But no Gavin can’t do that.”

“This is bloody mental!” Gavin said with excitement.

“Great, give the most destructive one fire hands.” Jack said as he rolled his eyes.

“Ok, now are you going to explain the rest of this?” Geoff said as he turned towards Kdin.

“Everybody sit down and I’ll explain this as best as I can.” Kdin said as everybody followed her orders. “Ok, so every person as a bit of magic in them, nobody really knows why. Many people believe that it is the higher powers thanking humans for not sucking. Or as a self-destruction mechanism, depending on whether you are an optimist or pessimist.”

“Ok, so there is no explanation, got it.” Ray said.

“I’m not finished! Anyway every culture has a different name for it. The word even differs throughout the four kingdoms on this continent, which makes things kind of difficult. In the Achievement Kingdom, it’s just called a power. Every person’s power matches their soul in one way or another. Some powers are more common than others.”

“Go on.” Ryan said.

“Strength Summoning, like Jack, Fire Manipulation, like Gavin, and Plant Manipulation, Like Ray, are more common.”

“Ugh! Lame! It would be some rose related bullshit.” Ray said as he folded his arms and pouted.

“Copy Summoning, like Michael, and Animal Communication, Like Ryan, are a bit rarer”

“Oh god why.” Ryan said as he put his head in his hands, embarrassed.

“What the hell is Copy Summoning?” Michael asked.

“I think it means that you can make clones or yourself” Jack said.

“Yeah, that’s basically it.” Kdin confirmed.

“Huh. Army of Mogars. That actually pretty cool.” Michael said.

“And what about me?” Geoff asked.

“I can’t think of anyone else off the top of my head with your power.” Kdin replied.

“Ok, but what is it?”

“Well… you can kinda bring things into existence.”

“Like what? What the does that even mean?”

“I don’t know much about what you can do. But try thinking of something that you could really use right now.”

“I could really use a drink.”

“Ok not that, think of another simple desire. And then just imagine it in your hands I guess. I don’t really know how else to describe it.”

Geoff sat for a moment and thought about something that he wish he had with him. Then he closed his eyes and concentrated. Suddenly there was a quick flash of light and he felt something familiar in his hands. He opened his eyes to see what he made.

“What the hell is that supposed to be?” Kdin asked

“It’s an Xbox controller. And I just made this?” Geoff asked

“I mean I don’t know what an Xbox is but yeah you made that thing.”

“Wait Kdin, what’s your power?” Gavin asked.

“I already told you. I’m the Dragon Speaker. That’s it. And I’m the only one.” 

Geoff sighed as he looked at his creation. “Welp.”

“I think you just made yourself even more eager to go home.” Ryan said.

“Yeah, I think I made us all more eager to go home.”

“Look. I don’t know what that thing is but that fact that I keep having to explain basic facts to you is bothering me. Like is it a dragon thing or are you just… idiots who don’t care about basic education?” Kdin said harshly.

“Well we are idiots, that’s for sure.” Jack said.

“But you can’t just assume that this is all our fault.” Ray said.

“I don’t care what it is. Just make sure it’s fixed before we get to Livecast.” Kdin said.

“And how long it that?” Gavin asked.

“Two and a half days.” Kdin said as she got up and walked to her sleeping space. “Fix all of this. That’s your jobs.”

“Well we’re fucked aren’t we?” Michael said quietly.

“Yeah.” The rest of the remaining group said simultaneously .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp. So much for updating more frequently. But since I'm almost finished re-uploading Dangan Roosters, I'm really going to try to do this more. I would like to have this done by May. Also I'm superpower loving trash. Thanks.


	6. What a Cock

Over the course of the rest of the tip to Livecast, nothing improved. Kdin grew more and more frustrated with the Achievement Hunter’s due to their lack of understanding of the most basic concepts. Instead of getting to fraternize with the men she once called heroes, she was forced to babysit them and teach them self-control.

At long last, the group finally made it to the walls of Livecast with few damages.

“Alright so do we just knock on the gate or something?” Ray asked.

“Yes. Someone on guard will probably notice us soon.” Kdin replied.

“Ok cool.”

“And remember, we get in, tell the King what’s happening, get more knights, get more supplies because _someone_ told wolves they could come into our campsite and eat our food.” Kdin said with a groan.

“For the last time, I told you I was an accident. How the hell was I supposed to know they were wolves? It’s a mental link sort of deal!” Ryan exclaimed.

“To be fair those wolves were pretty chill.” Michael said.

“Forget about the fucking wolves!” Kdin yelled.

“Hey you brought it up. Not me.” Ryan said defensively. 

“Look, I know I can’t fix stupid. But can you at least pretend like you know what you’re doing?”

“We can try if it gets you to calm the hell down.” Geoff replies.

“We can?” Gavin asked. Geoff then proceeded to punch him in the stomach.

“ _Yes_ , we can.“ 

“Good. Now call up since nobody has seen us yet.” Kdin said.

“Alright.” Geoff cleared his throat. “HEY ASSHOLES. KINDA HAVE A HUGE KNIGHT PARTY AND SHIT TO DO SO IF YOU COULD LET US IN THAT WOULD BE COOL!”

“No not like that!”

“WHO GOES… OH FUCK WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?!” a voice boomed from the wall. The group looked up at the station on top of the wall.

“Brandon? Is that you?” Jack asked.

“That’s Sir Farmihani to you!” Brandon replied.

“Listen that great an all but we actually have shit to do here.” Geoff said.

“Oh yeah like what?”

“We have urgent news from the Achievement Kingdom and request and audience with the King.” Kdin but in.

“Yeah, right, you all are just here to fuck shit up.”

Suddenly another voice came for the station. “Dude just let them in, maybe they won’t kick our asses this time.”

“Seriously? Fine.” Brandon sighed in defeat and turned back to the Achievement Hunters. “You’re lucky Sir Gibson is actually the one who opens the gate.”

“Stop being formal. It sounds stupid.”

“Fine _Blaine_. Open the gate.”

“Sweet.” Ray said.

“So is this place just filled with people from the live action department or…” Jack started.

“What the hell is a live action department?” Kdin asked.

Suddenly the door in the wall began to open. Shades of red and black from the buildings within the walls soon became visible to the knights. Once the door was fully open, two familiar faces appeared. Both of them were wearing armor with the familiar cockbite logo on the breastplates.

“Yeah sorry Brandon’s being an asshole. We can take you to the castle.” Blaine said with a smile.

“Wait aren’t you supposed to be guards or something?” Gavin asked

“I mean yeah, but nothing really happens around here except mob spawns.” Blaine replied.

“So the only reason we even have guards during the day is because the King like to tell people to get off his property.” Brandon added.

“Great, I think I know where this is going.” Geoff said as he rolled his eyes.

“Plus Sir Marquis and Sir Demarais have the other post covered. Things will be fine.”

“Dude it’s just Aaron and Chris. You sound like a douche when you call them that.” Blaine said.

“Shut up and let’s just take them to the castle.” Brandon said with a huff.

“Come on guys.” Blaine said as he motioned the group to follow.

The group followed the too knights through the kingdom walls. While most of the group was taking in the sights of the kingdom, Geoff and Kdin began to talk strategies.

“Ok look, I’ll do all the talking.” Kdin said.

“You really have no faith in us do you?” Geoff asked.

“Not unless you can clean up your act.”

“You think we wanted to be confused like this, to not know anything?”

“I don’t know but it shouldn't normally be like this.”

“Whatever. Just do what you need to do and we’ll stand there and look pretty. Since that’s all I guess we’re good for.”

“Fine!”

“I miss the old Kdin.”

“What old Kdin? You only met me a few days ago.”

Geoff just sighed as he followed the rest of the group up to the castle. Blaine and Brandon opened the doors to the castle and everybody entered.

“Ok so I know he’s not doing anything right now so we can probably just take you right to the throne room. But be warned, there may be some things you not want to see in there.” Blaine said as he continued forward.

“I swear to god if this is who I think it is…” Geoff mumbled to himself.

“Who do you think it is?” Ray asked.

“We’re about to find out.” Ryan replied.

They finally arrived at the door to the throne room.

“Ok so be prepared to divert your eyes.” Blaine said as he opened the door.

“What the fuck do you want? Shouldn’t you be guarding the kingdom?” said the king as soon as he saw the doors open.

“Oh like hell I am bowing to him!” Geoff said.

“Yeah… these guys kinda showed up… so… yeah.” Brandon said.

“Ah, Achievement Knights. Why are you here?” the king asked again.

“Nice to see you too Gus.” Geoff replied.

“That’s King Gus to you asshole.” Gus replied.

“I love how we are throwing all formalities out the window.” Brandon said.

“Shut up Brandon.”

“Awww.”

“I see you covered your throne room in nude paintings of yourself. You fucking would.” Geoff said.

“And you all have to deal with it. But seriously what do you want?”

Kdin cleared her throat.

“Who the hell are you?”

“Your majesty, my name is Kdin Jenzen. I am the-“

“Ok I already don’t care.” Gus said, cutting her off.

“But-“

“No shut up. Geoff who is this chick?”

“It’s a long story. But, that chick,” Geoff paused and motioned towards Kdin. “Is the person who talks to the Ender Dragon. And she said that the Ender Dragon cut off communication to her and is going to kill everyone. So Lindsay told us,” he paused again to motion to the rest of the group. ”to take Kdin and go to all the kingdoms and warn them and get more knights to help us fight it and shit.”

“Is that all?” Gus asked.

“Also we need more food cause Ryan brought wolves into our camp.” Geoff concluded.

“I told you it was a fucking accident!” Ryan exclaimed.

“I’m surprised it wasn’t cows.” Gus said.

“Ha! Even here Ryan is the cow guy” Gavin said with a laugh.

“Shut up Gavin.” Ryan said with a huff.

Gus sighed, “Alright. I trust Geoff enough and I trust Lindsay’s ability not to fuck it up.” Then Gus turned towards his knights. “Brandon, go get them supplies. Blaine, go fetch Sir Risinger and Lady Eberle, the can accompany these idiots on this quest.” And if you run into the leather-smith don’t tell her Gavin is here. I want these guys out of my kingdom ASAP!”

“What would the leather-smith want with me?” Gavin asked.

“Clearly you have no self-awareness Gavin, or otherwise you probably would have noticed to maker’s signature on your wrist guards.” Ryan said.

“What?”

“Who cares about any of that?” Michael said.

“Look all idiots aside thank you Gus. We’ll be out of here as soon as possible.” Geoff said.

“Good, not get the hell out of my castle.” Gus said as he pointed at the door.

“Fine by us.” Jack said. 

“Yeah, let’s wait outside.” Geoff said as he and the rest of the group took their leave. 

As they were walking out, Kdin looked even more annoyed.

“Alright. What’s got your panties in a twist now? I was useful and did my job.” Geoff said.

“I think she’s just pissed cause nobody took her seriously.” Ray said.

“I’m pissed because this is all bullshit! You have no idea what going on and everyone will follow you blindly! What the fuck!?” Kdin yelled

“Don’t take it personally, Gus is an asshole.”

“You didn’t even know he was to goddamn king until you walked into the room!”

“To be fair, he was my first guess.”

“You are all idiots! I bet you can’t properly lead people into battle at all!”

“I don’t know…” Geoff said. He had never actually done that before.

“Hey!” A feminine voice came from behind the group. Everyone turned around.

“Oh hey Kara.” Michael said 

“So I hear we’re going to fight a Dragon. That so cool!” Kara exclaimed in excitement.

“Yeah... that is a thing that we have to actually do…” Geoff said nervously

“So are you excited?”

“Ehh…” Michael said.

“Why just ‘Ehh?” 

“I think we all just want to go home honestly.” Jack said.

“Why?”

“Because Kdin is being a douche and this whole situation is bullshit.” Ray said.

“Aww guys come on! You’ll be heroes!”

“Kara please calm down. It’s been a long day and we really don’t need all the pep.” Jack said.

“Looks like you all need a morale boost.”

“Kara please-” Gavin started but was cut off by the sound of Kara’s cheering

“COME ON TEAM ACHIEVEMENT! YOU CAN GET THE DRAGON!”

“Oh my god…” Kdin said. 

Finally the second knight walked over to the group carrying two bags of extra supplies.

“Hey sorry about that, Brandon was a wimp and didn’t want to carry things so I just figured I’d take it since we’re about to leave anyway.” Jon said.

“It’s the Rismonger!” Gavin squeeled.

“Oh hell yeah Rismonger is here.” Michael said.

“By the way Gavin, Meg says hi.” Jon said.

“Meg is here?” Gavin asked curiously

“Yeah, She’s kinda the leather-smith and made all of your archery stuff.” Jon said as he dropped the bags. 

“Oh.” 

“So anyway,” Jon said as he walked over towards Ryan and slung his arm over his shoulder. “Ryan, how did you like those paintings I sent you?”

“Don’t fucking touch me.” Ryan replied curtly.

“Ok…” Jon said as he slid his arm off Jon and went over to pick up the bags again. “So are we leaving or not?”

“This is going to end so badly” Kdin said sadly.

“Yes it is now come on let’s go!” Jon said as he led the group out of Livecast. And thus the first kingdom’s recruitment was completed and the next part of the quest began.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I'm going to challenge myself to update this at least twice a week. Because I like writing. And I'm sorry this chapter was a bit of a clusterfuck. Also feel free to leave feedback. Thanks!


	7. Idiots Among Us

The newly enlarged party started walking in the direction of Rose Court. Kdin informed them that this would be a three day journey, as long as they kept a good pace. Everyone agreed and followed her onto the wooded trail that led to the next kingdom. Kdin walked in front while the rest of the Achievement Hunters were right behind her. Jon and Kara walked in the back to make sure no one fell behind.

As the new self-appointed unofficial leader, Kdin was at his wits end with the rest of the Achievement Hunters. It was beyond her comprehension as to how an idiot like Geoff could command such “respect” from a king. Then again, Livecast was not a traditional place. Either way she felt like he needed a new prospective on the knights. 

Kdin looked into the group and yelled, “Hey Jon?”

Jon looked up, “What?”

“Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Sure… whatsyourface.” Jon replied as he quickly walked towards the front.

“It’s Kdin.”

“Ok but what do you need.”

Kdin sighed. “Look, I know that you have worked with these guys before.”

“There is a fine line between working with and annoying the shit out of, but continue.”

“Have they always been this…”

“This what?” Jon asked.

“I don’t know… stupid?” Kdin finally blurted out.

“Ok how are they useless?”

“They seem to lack of the most basic understanding of geography and powers!” Kdin exclaimed in frustration.

“You mean abilities.” Jon corrected her.

“No I know what I fucking said.”

Jon rolled his eyes. “Look, they are stupid, but they aren’t bad at what they do. If you haven’t noticed by now, most of us knights aren't like the stories. We have our own quirks. And whether they’re crude or noble, they are who they are. And while the forgetting everything they know is weird, you got to understand that the Achievement Knights kind of live in their own little bubble of existence. What’s outside is irrelevant to them. It kind of sucks for the rest of us but you work with it anyway.”

“So… they aren’t idiots, they are just self-absorbed?” Kdin asked.

“Yep.”

“That’s even worse!”

“How is that worse?”

“It’s worse because it just shows that they don’t give a shit about me or anything else.” 

“I doubt that’s true. They wouldn’t have taken on this mission if they didn’t. Plus Lindsay would have Michael’s balls. So he probably at least cares about those.”

“No. They just want to ’go home’ and ‘get the hell out of here’. It’s shitty and cowardly. Even Geoff cringed when actually fighting the dragon came up. I doubt these men actually want to lay down their lives for the greater good!” Kdin yelled.

Jon looked over his shoulder at the men in question. Geoff did have a nervous look on his face and the rest of them were wore similar ones.

“Even so, those are some harsh accusations. They may surprise you in the end kid.”

“I don’t get surprised very easily.” Kdin said harshly.

“Well either way, you need to find the possible advantages in every situation. Find a way to make things in your favor.” 

“It’s not that simple.”

“Eh.” Jon said with a shrug. “Hey you said they didn’t get the concept of abilities right?”

“Powers.” Kdin corrected.

“Same thing now answer the damn question.”

“No they didn't even know their own powers.”

“So they don’t know mine then.”

“I don’t even know yours.”

“Good, then watch this and let me cheer you up.” Jon turned around. “Hey Ray?” he called out.

“Yo.” Ray replied. 

Then Jon quickly covered his face. When he uncovered his face, he looked like a mirror image of Ray.

“JUBL” Jon said, but with Ray’s voice.

“HOLY FUCK!” Ray yelled in surprise. He then proceeded to trip and fall flat on his face.

Jon began to laugh. “Oh my god! It’s been so long since any of you fell for that!” he wheezed.

Gavin looked up at Jon. “Wot? Two Rays?” Everyone was looking at Jon at this point.

“Jesus Christ what the hell?” Michael said.

“Oh, what is this?” Ryan asked, disturbed.

“Jon cut it out!” Kara whined.

“Alright. Alright” Jon said as his face shifted back to his own.

“Um… so…” Jack said.

“Kdin said you forgot all about abilities. So I figured I’d show mine off.”

“Face and voice mimicry.” Kdin mused.

“Yep. I can take the face of anyone I want. Except the only problem with it is that I can't change my eyes. So it’s a virtually useless ability for things other than pranks.” Jon sighed.

“…Thanks for the demo” Ray groaned as he got up off of the ground.

“For the record, I don’t feel any better.” Kdin said.

“Sourpuss.” Jon murmured under his breath.

“Anyway, we’ll stop and camp for the night soon.” Kdin said as he continued to walk forward.

“So Kara?” Gavin asked as he turned around.

“Yep?” Kara replied in acknowledgement

“What’s you special quirk?”

“My ability?”

“Yeah, what is it?”

“Telekinesis.” She said with a smile.

“Huh.” 

“Yeah. I can demonstrate it when we camp for the night. I’ve been itching to spar with you guys ever since I got my new rapier from Rose Court!” she said in excitement.

“Oh… that’s awesome.” Gavin said sheepishly.

“Gavin you are going to die.” Geoff said blandly.

“No I won’t! I’ll use my fire hands.”

“You are going to die and we are all going to die with you.”

“Have faith in me Geoffrey.”

“No.” Geoff replied.

Gavin grumbled angrily under his breath until Kdin finally brought the group to a stop near a river.

“Ok, so this is where we are staying tonight. The end.” Kdin said flatly.

“Glad to see you’re enthusiastic still.” Geoff said sarcastically.

“Oh my god. I don’t need your sass you prick.” Kdin said angrily.

“Glad to see I made a bad situation worse.” Jon said sadly.

“Jon that’s your fucking job.” Ryan said.

“Ok, ok, enough with the mopey faces. I really want to test out my rapier on you guys.” Kara said.

“I’ll fight you Kara!” Gavin exclaimed.

“No you won’t. I’ll spar. “Michael said.

“But micool!” Gavin whimpered as he made a pouty face.

“Don’t pull that shit with me right now. Everything's really shitty and I need to hit something”

“I’m surprised you haven’t just jerked it or something.” Ray said.

“…Shut up. I’m going to fight Kara.”

“Oh gross you totally have.” Ray laughed.

“I’m really confused right now.” Kara said

“Retain your innocence while you still can.” Jack said.

“No I got that part. Whatever. Jon call it.” Kara yelled over to Jon.

“Fine. Stand in the place where we aren’t going to sleep.” Jon said. Michael and Kara walked over to the edge of the campsite. “Alright in position” the two fighters took their stance. “And FIGHT!” 

Suddenly Kara stepped out of her fighting stance and pointed at Michael. As she slowly raised up her finger, Michael began to levitate off the ground.

“What?! What the fuck is going on?!” Michael screamed. Then Kara quickly dropped her finger and Michael fell ass first on the ground. “What the fuck just happened?!”

“Gavin wanted a demonstration of my ability earlier. So that is what that was. But that didn’t count as a match. We can restart.” Kara said.

“Yeah please.” Michael said as he got up. “Jon call it again.”

“Get in positions” once again Michael and Kara got into fighting stances. “And… FIGHT”

Immediately, Michael charged at Kara. He swung his sword at her be she quickly dodged. He swung at her again and she dodged his attack yet again.

“You’re always way too offensive. Now it’s my turn.” Kara said as she matched Michael’s next swing.

“How is that rapier not broken from hitting a broadsword like that? I thought that were supposed to be thinner or something.” Ryan asked.

“They say weapons that were forged in Rose Court are in sync with their owner’s soul. It’s a weird binding enchantment that makes weapons stronger. Jeremy is better with that stuff than I am. But fun fact, they gave Lindsay a scythe when she was crowned queen. ” Kdin answered as she watched.

Kara and Michael continued their fight. Kara kept advancing on Michael while he attempted to dodge. Kara suddenly swung her rapier at Michael’s face. Before he could get away, Kara slashed Michael’s right cheek.

“Ah… Fuck. I give. I’m done.” Michael said as he quickly dropped to the ground.

“Oh… ok then.” Kara said quietly. “… Sorry I cut your face….”

“Yeah what the hell are you being a baby about? It’s just a little blood!” Kdin exclaimed.

“Michael are you ok?” Jack asked.

Michael put his hand on his cheek. “… Yeah… I just… wasn’t expecting that…” he said as he inspected the amount of blood on his hand.

“Oh my god get over it. You aren’t dying.” Kdin said.

“Kdin shut up!” Ray yelled.

“We don’t need to make a big deal out of this.” Ryan said.

“But seriously Kdin you’re being an asshole. We know it’s fine.” Geoff said.

“Then why is Michael in fucking shock over a goddamn cut?” Kdin asked harshly. “This shit shouldn’t fucking phase him!”

“Just let him breath alright!”

Suddenly the group heard a whoosh. They quickly looked up at the tree tops to find that they were on fire.

“Gavin…” Michael said slowly, finally coming out of his trance.

“Look, you weren’t letting me fight, so I wanted to practice my fire hands. And I may or may not have set the trees on fire.” Gavin said sheepishly.

“GAVIN YOU FUCK!” Michael yelled. And then a fire was added to the list of things the party have to deal with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to pull a Miles Luna with this and I'm sorry (even though that probably means something different to you than it does to me) Also, I think I'm going to have this work have a Tuesday/Thursday update schedule from here on out. happy reading.


	8. Boiling Point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's come conflict for you.

The group stared at the growing fire with panicked expressions.

“Great. Now we’re all going to die before we can even get to the fucking dragon.” Kdin groaned.

“Can you just shut up, please?” Geoff snapped.

“I don’t suppose anyone have water powers do they?” Jack asked.

“No but I’ve got the next best thing.” Kara said as she quickly ran towards the riverbed. She motioned her hands towards the river and using he telekinesis, she flung as much water as she could at the tree tops. The fire fizzled out almost as fast as it began. Kara then sank to the ground.

“Well that was resolved quickly.” Ryan said.

“Kara are you alright?” Jack asked.

“I’m fine, I’m just tired. I normally don’t lift things that heavy.” Kara said.

“Just give her some time she’ll be ok.” Jon said, walking over to her side.

“Well, now that that’s over, WHAT THE FUCK GAVIN YOU COULD HAVE KILLED EVERYONE!” Michael yelled.

“I didn’t mean it…” Gavin said quietly.

“That doesn’t change anything!”

“Michael…”

“You can’t put us all in danger like that!”

“And since when did you ever care about putting yourself in danger?” Kdin asked.

“Yeah remember immersion?” Gavin added. 

“That shit was staged and this is real!”

Ray scoffed, “Please! This is all just a dream.”

“Do you really still believe that?”

“Yes! There’s no way I can actually make plants grow with my mind. And why are you so, hur blur this isn’t a game?”

“Because it’s not! This is real and we were dumped here with no explanation! We see these people we think we know but we don’t!”

“Holy shit you’re right. We don’t and this is all wrong.” Geoff said sadly.

“Ray, the blood on my face is real. The threat of death is real! If I stab you right now you aren’t going to wake up!”

“Ok and if this isn’t a dream. Whose fault is it that we are here anyway? Huh? Is there going to be so repercussions for this?”

“Oh no! We are not playing the goddamn blame game!” Jack exclaimed. “Whatever happened, happened. And we just need to get over it!”

“And since when have we ever listened to you?” Ray replied.

“Ray you’re being a dick for no reason.” Ryan said.

“Oh I have every reason to be a dick right now. I was humiliated in my own dream and now I’m stuck wandering a shitty fantasy world with you assholes, a shittier Kdin, the person who ruins everything that comes out of our mouths, and a goddamn cheerleader! I just want to wake up from this nightmare already!”

“Wait, am I the cheerleader or the quote ruiner?” Jon asked.

“SHUT UP!”

“Well either way I don’t think we’re waking up from this anytime soon so just accept this a reality of a bit.” Ryan said.

“Oh yeah. You would be ok with all of this.” Ray sneered.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?!”

“It’s your fault we played this goddamn mod and are tripping balls!” 

Ryan stayed quiet.

“Oh what did I strike a nerve? It’s not like you give a shit about any of us anyway.”

“Ray, you can’t just say that. You’re in denial…” Michael said.

“Yeah. And Ryan does care!” Gavin added.

“No he does not!” Ray yelled.

“… I’m sorry.” Ryan whispered.

“What was that?”

“I SAID I’M FUCKING SORRY ALRIGHT!” Ryan yelled.

“Ryan, you didn’t do-” Jack started to say.

“No! He’s absolutely right. If I hadn’t found that mod and played it and then told to rest of you to play it, none of this would have happened!” he cried.

“Ryan…” Gavin said.

“And there is no amount of apologizing or pleading I can do to change this! We’re trapped and it’s my fault. I have to live with the fact that I put all of our lives as risk. It hurts knowing all the damage I’ve caused!”

“Ray, this is why we can’t be dicks!” Michael said.

“Oh go cry to your wife, the queen!”

“She’s not my wife!” Michael screamed. “My wife is sitting in the editing room going through footage of us doing stupid shit! She’s not here! It’s just the six of us and these strangers with familiar faces!”

“Damn…” Kara said quietly 

“So until you get your head out of your ass Ray, I’m fucking done!” Michael yelled as he stormed off in the opposite direction.

“Fine!” Ray said as he too, walked away.

Jack walked over towards Ryan. “Don’t listen to what Ray said. We’re all really stressed right now. I’m sure he didn’t mean it.” He said

“Whether he meant it or not doesn’t make it less true. I… I think I need to be alone right now.” Ryan said as he walked away. 

Jack sighed, “I’m going to go check on Kara then. I hope she did pass out.” He said as he got up and walked towards Kara.

Geoff looked at Gavin. “So what? Are you going to walk away too?”

“Nah. I really don’t want to be alone right now.” Gavin replied as he sat down right where he stood. Geoff walked over and sat down next to him. “I don’t really like being alone when I’m scared.”

“I know.” Geoff replied.

“I don’t wanna play this mod anymore.”

“Me either buddy.”

“I don’t think we can do this.”

“Me neither.”

“Geoff?”

“Yeah?”

“I want to go home.”

“Me too buddy.” Geoff said as he pulled Gavin into a hug.

Suddenly Geoff and Gavin looked up to find Kdin hovering over them.

“What the fuck do you want. Can’t you see we’re having a moment here?” Geoff asked angrily.

“So it was drugs then?” Kdin asked

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Ray said you were all tripping balls. Now I don’t know what a ‘mod’ is but it sound pretty illegal.”

“Wait you think a mod is a drug? Are you stupid?” Gavin asked. “You can’t eat that. It’s not a thing you can touch.”

“Are you sure?”

“YES!” both Geoff and Gavin exclaimed at once.

“Because drugs would explain everything. It would even make sense that Ryan did it too. He always was the reckless experimenter.”

“Shut up!” Geoff growled.

“Why should I listen to you anymore, huh? It’s not like you’ve done anything to warrant any respect. You and your whole troop are just a bunch of lazy, stupid, selfish cowards! I was so wrong about you! I don’t know how I could have ever seen anything amazing in the group of you!” Kdin yells.

Immediately Geoff was on his feet. Geoff raised his hand and slapped Kdin so hard she fell to the ground.

“Geoff!” Gavin said appalled.

Geoff then stood over Kdin. “You listen here and you listen good. You think you know everything because you’re some special chosen one. But guess what. You don’t know everything. Specifically us. You have no idea of the shit we’re dealing with. All this disappointment you feel is not our fault. You’re right! We are fucking stupid! But you don’t get to bash us constantly just because we didn’t live up to your stupid expectations! Sue us for being fucking human beings who are capable of feeling sadness, anger, fear, and longing! Who the fuck are you to criticize us for that!? And do really you think you’ve earned our respect? Guess what buddy, that shit goes both ways! Your piss poor attitude has done nothing but make the situation worse!”

Kdin remained silent.

“Now get the hell out of my sight!” Geoff hissed. Kdin scrambled away quickly.

“That was a little harsh.” Gavin said with a scowl.

“I’m sorry. I’m just so done with her and her rudeness. I mean drug accusations? Really? Come on.” Geoff said.

“I know but still.”

“There is no way to get rid of the tension.”

“Do you think we’re all going to hate each other forever?”

“No. It’s just going to take some time. And hopefully we don’t die before then.”

And then Geoff and Gavin sat in silence and the sky got darker. Eventually, Gavin had to get up and light a fire for the night. Geoff didn’t move from his spot. Gavin didn’t rejoin him after he got up, instead going to go comfort Michael because he knew he would be appreciated then. So Geoff just sat alone.

“Excuse me.” Jon said as he stood next to Geoff.

Geoff looked up at him. “How long have you been standing there?”

“I just got here.”

“Right.”

“Anyway, Kdin wanted to let you know that we’ll be in Rose Court soon and she won’t verbally bitch as much. You really ripped her a new one. I personally am impressed.” Jon stated.

Geoff allowed himself to collapse further and lie on the ground. “Fucking whatever.” he replied.

“Oh and this is just some advice from me. They’re way more perceptive in Rose Court. And I don’t really know what is happening with you guys. It’s pretty disconcerting. I know I can’t tell you to fix your problems in two days. But you guys are going to have to put on the show of your life, because they will know something is up.” Jon remarked as he walked away.

“Great. Just fucking great.” Geoff said as he stared into the stars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey kids wanna buy some mods.


	9. Red Like Roses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Predictable chapter name is predictable

The rest of the trip to Rose Court went without incident. Though this was because nobody was speaking to each other. After the fight on the first night, the group traveled in an uncomfortable silence. Kdin was angry at the group for the same reasons. Geoff was lost in his own self-doubt. Ryan continued to blame himself for everything that has gone wrong. Ray stayed in denial while Michael was consumed by the gravity of the situation. Gavin and Jack just silently wished things would get better while Jon and Kara were clueless as to why there was so much unresolved tension.

None of this truly mattered once that reached the gate of Rose Court. They had a show to put on.

“Ok, So Kara will signal a guard to let us in, we talk to the king with as big of a smile as we can muster, get what we need and leave. Does that sound good?” Jon asked.

“Yeah…” everyone grumbled.

“And don’t forget the acting like you don’t want to brutally murder each other part. The king is very perceptive.”

“Whatever…” Everyone murmured.

“And I recommend starting that shit nowish.”

There was a collective groan from the group as that all forced a smile.

“My face hurts.” Ray complained.

“Shut the hell up you brought this on yourselves.” Jon replied curtly.

Then Kara cleared her throat. “Excuse me!” She yelled at the wall.

A guard on top of the wall looked down at the group.

“Ah Lady Eberle, and the Achievements knights.” The Guard said with a smile. Then he looked at Jon. “And a dickhead.” He said as he frowned.

“Who is he-” Kdin began to ask.

“Me. He’s talking about me.” Jon sighed

“Jon you’re a dick.” The guard said.

“Thank you Patrick for your encouraging words. Your love keeps me going.” Jon replied sarcastically.

“Anyway. We have urgent news to deliver to your king. May we enter?” Kara asked politely.

“Yeah. I can let you in. But I should warn you, the king is not here right now.” Patrick said before walking away from the edge to open the gate. 

“Shit.” Geoff said.

“Do you think that is going to complicate things?” Jack asked.

“We’ll deal with it however we can.” Kdin said curtly.

Then the doors to the kingdom opened. Inside the walls were many roses everywhere.

“I think I get why they call it Rose Court.” Ray whispered.

“It’s based on RWBY you fucking dumbass.” Michael whispered angrily.

“Whatever.” Ray replied as Patrick walked out to greet the group.

“Yeah. We’re a bit under staffed at the moment. Or not so much under staffed and more so we don’t need that many people right now. It’s off season.” Patrick said.

“What the hell is on season like?” Ray asked.

“Very busy. Lots of festivals and combat tournaments.” 

“SOUNDS LIKE A GRAND OLD TIME!” Kdin yelled.

“Calm down ma'am. Come on. I’ll lead you to the castle.” Patrick said as he motioned for the group to follow.

“So, why does Patrick hate you?” Gavin asked Jon.

“Everyone has a love hate relationship with me.” Jon replied with a shrug.

“I’m mad because we aren’t married. “ Patrick said with a huff.

“See. Love hate.”

“I don’t think I was expecting that.” Gavin said.

Patrick sighed. “They never do.”

“Friendships happen Gavin. I mean Michael calls you a dickhead all the time.” Jon said.

“I’m more creative than that! But you Gavin you are a dickhead.” Michael said

“No I’m not!”

“Will you to shut up!” Kdin said.

“Just because you’re a pissy bitch doesn’t mean you have to drag us down further than you already have.” Michael barked.

“Yeah, as you can clearly see we are perfectly capable of ruining our own friendships without your help.” Ryan said.

“Too soon man.” Jack said sadly.

“What did I say about smiling?!” Jon snapped.

“Ok I don’t know what happened on the way here, and I’m not sure I care, but calm the fuck down.” Patrick said. “We’re almost to the castle anyway.”

“As soon as we get this over with the better.” Kdin said under her breath.

After a few more minutes of waking down the road, the group approached a tall building.

“I was expecting something more ornate.” Ryan said

“It’s decorated on the inside. A simple outside was quicker to build.” Patrick replied as he opened the door. In the immediate hall stood another knight. He was playing with water in a pot.

“Haha water.”

“Oh my god it’s dragonface!” Ray yelled.

“Oh hey guys. I wasn’t expecting to see you all!” the knight said with a smile.

“Kerry what the hell are you doing?” Patrick asked.

“Practicing my semblance” Kerry replied.

“I can see that but why are you doing it in the middle of the hallway?”

“Got bored.”

“Oh so NOW someone has water powers!?” Geoff yelled.

“You mean semblance?” 

“IT’S ALL THE SAME DAMN THING!”

“Jesus Christ Geoff calm down.” Jack said.

“I put out the fire can we move on already?” Kara asked.

“…ok…” Kerry said confused.

“Anyway.” Patrick said. “These guys have something to tell the king.”

“But he’s not here.”

“I know that. So could you take them to the second in command?”

“Uh. Sure.” Kerry said as he motioned to the group to follow him.

“Where is the king exactly?” Kdin asked

“Away on business. Something about helping a foreign kingdom run more efficiently. Cause that what he does.” Kerry replied as he walked along. 

“Your kingdom’s castle is decorated in very pretty colors.” Gavin remarked.

“Thanks. Color is very important to our king.” Then the group reached a door. Kerry knocked on the door. “Gray? People need to tell you stuff and you have to listen and stuff” he said as he continued to knock. 

Then the door swung open and Kerry nearly fell over. “Thank you Kerry.” Gray said as he looked at the group. “Ah yes. The Achievement and other knights. Please step into my office.” He said as he opened the door further. “Now what seems to be the trouble?”

“Well,” Kdin started. “I am this generation’s dragon speaker. Which means I can communicate with the ender dragon. And recently the dragon cut off communication with me. That means we are all in danger. So queen Lindsay sent the Achievement Knights and I to go recruit knights from all of the other kingdoms to go defeat the ender dragon.” 

“That’s not what I was asking.” Gray replied.

“What do you mean that’s not what you’re asking.” Kdin asked

“The tension in your party is so thick you could barely cut it with the sharpest blade.”

“What did I tell you about smiling?!” Jon yelled

“Please, I would have been able to see through that shit anyway.”

“Shit happened and we all hate each other.” Geoff said.

“That’s unfortunate.”

“Anyway, would you be willing to help us?” Kara asked.

“Normally, this wouldn’t be my job. But it is my job for the time being so yeah.” Gray replied.

“Great!”

“Kerry!”

“Yes sir?” Kerry replied.

“First of all. Don’t mock me. Second, go get Barb. You’re going to go with them.” Gray said.

“YES GRAY!” Kerry said as he ran out the door.

“I’m going to help you because I don’t want to let this kingdom die on my watch, but whatever haunts you all won’t say hidden forever. You’re going to have to confront your problems whether you’re ready or not.” Gray said.

“You have no idea what going on with us.” Ryan said.

“And I have a feeling you don’t either.”

“That doesn’t even…”

“Doesn’t even what?”

“Holy shit.” Ray said.

“Alright, alright. So hurry along.” Gray said as he showed them out of his office. 

“What did he even mean?” Kdin asked

“Foreshadowing probably. Everyone in Rose Court does that.” Kara answered.

“Seriously?” 

“No, no. maybe things are going to start making sense soon.” Gavin said.

“Don’t get your hopes up.” Geoff said.

“HI GUYS!” a voice yelled from down the hall.

“Uh…” Ray said as the group looked in the direction the voice was coming from.

“ARRYN!” Kara screamed with delight as she raced towards the other girl. She hugged her and said, “Oh my gosh how are you? I’ve missed you so much!”

“I’m great! Listen I heard you guys were going to the Machinima Kingdom.” Arryn replied.

“Who the hell would name a kingdom that?” Geoff asked

“It’s just a name.” Kdin replied.

“Shut up.”

“Yes we are going their next. Why?” Kara asked

Arryn handed Kara a letter. “Could you deliver this message to the King of Machinima?” she asked

“Why would anyone ever want that title?” Geoff asked.

“It probably isn’t as bad here as it is at home.” Jack sighed.

“It’s still an unfortunate name.”

Kara rolled her eyes. “Yes. I would be happy to deliver this message.” She said with a wink.

“Thank you so much. Now I must go. My puppy needs me. I’ll see you around!” Arryn said as she quickly turned around and ran.

“Well that was weird.” Ray said.

“Hush!” Kara said.

Then Kerry and Barbara walked up to the group.

“Hey guys. Ready to go?” Barbara asked.

“Fuck yes get us the hell out of here!” Michael said.

“Hi Barb!” Gavin said.

“Hi Gav!”

“Aw man. This is great! I haven’t hung out with you guys in so long!” Kerry said as he started walking towards the door. The rest of the group followed him out of the castle and back into the streets of Rose Court. “Man I barely remember the last time we hung out!”

“What do you mean?” Ray asked.

“Well I visited Achievement Kingdom a while ago.” He said. “But I don’t really remember what happened there.”

“Why is that?” Jack asked

“Uh…” Kdin said as she signaled the group to stop asking questions

“I don’t know. I remember entering the kingdom. Then I woke up in the hospital wing of the castle with shredded armor and a bad chest wound.” Kerry replied.

Kdin coughed awkwardly.

“Ok, ok, I get it! Whatever happened was somehow my fault!” Ryan said angrily. “Just another goddamn thing…” 

“I don’t see how it would be your fault. Besides, now I have a cool scar on my chest. Ladies love it.” Kerry smirked.

“No they don’t.” Barbara said as she rolled her eyes.

“Shut up Barbara you don’t count!” Kerry huffed.

“Whatever. Someone who isn’t Kdin lead us towards Machinima. The worst named kingdom.” Geoff said

“HEY!” Kdin yelled.

“You had your turn as leader and that turned out so fucking well.” Geoff growled.

“I got this!” Kerry yelled. “Time for an… ADVENTURE!” he exclaimed as he ran in front on the group.

“This is going to suck more balls than it already does.” Michael said.

“We’re all going to die.” Geoff said sadly.

And thus the party enlarged once again as the Achievement Knights ventured further on their quest to defeat the ender dragon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now we are halfway through this mess. Some things were changed from how i originally planed them but that's ok we make them work. Ok I'm super tired and I had to get a tooth re-glued into my jaw again today so see you thursday


	10. Gavino and BlawnDee

The party left the kingdom to head off to their greater goal. The gang had not spoken a word to each other since Kerry took the lead. The tension had grown so thick between the parties that Kdin had chose to stay away from everyone since she knew her company was not wanted. She instead stayed towards the back, which Geoff was very happy about.

Kerry and Barbara realized that they needed to figure out what happened to the party before they arrived at the Rose Court. Barbara had tried to talk to Michael and Ryan, but they both had nothing to say to her.

“We need to figure out what is going on. This coldness is so unlike them.” Barbara whispered to Kerry.

“Yeah no shit. It’s like they aren’t even themselves.” Kerry replied. “And on an unrelated, why did Ryan say my chest scar was his fault? Did he stab me and then knock me out or something? I’m not mad about it. I don’t really care if that is what happened.” Kerry asked.

“It’s not important. What’s most important about that is that it’s over and you are ok.”

“I would totally ask more questions but this conversation had a purpose. What do you think?”

“I think you should talk to Ray or Jack tonight. I’ll see what Gavin can tell me.”

“Gonna try and play the childhood friend card to get him to talk?”

“Yep.”

With that Kerry and Barbara separated, both thinking about individual things to say to try and figure out the troubles of the legendary Achievement Hunters. Later that night, once the party had made camp for the night, everyone sat around the campfire in an awkward silence. Kdin was facing away from the fire. Jon and Kara were keeping to themselves. Jack was staring at the guys, wishing that everyone could keep it together. Geoff and Ryan were both staring at the fire. Ray and Michael had already left to their own corners. Gavin was sitting by a tree alone. Barbara and Kerry were sitting next to each other by the fire. 

“Any luck with Jack or Ray?” Barbara asked quietly.

“No. Jack just said he didn’t know what to do about everyone and Ray just said talking to me wouldn’t further the plot. I don’t even know what that means.” Kerry replied.

“Well, I guess it’s time for Gavin and me to go for a little walk.”

“Good luck with that.”

“Thanks.” Barbara said as she got up and walked towards Gavin. “Come on Gavin, We’re going for a walk.”

Gavin looked up confused, “What? Right now?”

“Yes now. Come on.” Barbara said as she grabbed Gavin and dragged him off towards the woods.

“Where are we going?”

“For a walk.” As they wandered into the dark woods.

“It’s bloody dark away from the campsite.” And with that remark, Barbara snapped her fingers and a spark ignited. “Whoa.”

“Why are you so surprised? We both can do this. We trained together as kids.” Barbara said, deciding that this was a good place to start her investigation.

“We did?” Gavin asked.

“Uh… Yeah. Did you hit your head or something and forget that?”

“No… Maybe. I don’t know. It’s just been awhile since I’ve been around more people with fire hands.”

“I mean fire hands are cool. Now I’m just thinking of the time when we were little and you rammed your head into a tree when we were racing.” Barbara said with a smile. 

“Yeah?”

“You were trying to get _ahead_ in the race.” Barbara smirked. Gavin just sighed and smiled. “Weird normally you just groan at my puns.” 

“No, it was terrible. But it just makes me a feel… I don’t know, less shitty.”

“Don’t make it gay Gavin.”

“I’m not. I guess I just miss things.” Gavin said.

“Alright.” Barbara said thinking of ways to crack Gavin. “So… did Ray and Michael have a fight?”

Gavin paused and looked up a Barbara, “Something like that. Things are really complicated right now. You know, dragon and what not.” Gavin stared back at the ground again.

“Is it really the dragon? Or is it something else?”

“Why do you care so much?! Why do our spats even matter to you?! What happened, happened and it’s not like you can say anything to fix it!” Gavin said harshly.

“So it’s definitely something else then.” Barbara mused.

“Why are you still going on about this? We’re a lost cause right now.” Gavin said with dismay.

“Maybe because you are the strongest warriors in the four kingdoms and this is an important mission.” Barbara said calmly, not wanting to get angry at her friend. “But what’s really going on?” Barbara decided that a direct approach would work best.

“What exactly are you on about? What do you think is wrong?” 

“None of you are acting like you! You’re not as bubbly as you normally are. Ray’s even douchier than usual, Michael’s angsty not angry, Ryan’s all mopey, Jack is struggling to be the mother than he normally is, and Geoff, he’s a mess. It’s seems like he’s never been on a mission before. He seems broken. In fact all of you do. I want to know what happened!” Barbara said sternly.

Gavin stared at Barbara for a minute. He opened his mouth, then closed it again. After a little while of the two of them staring at each other, Gavin finally spoke.

“What if… we aren’t the us that you know?”

“Huh?”

“What if.” He paused, still gathering his thoughts. “We aren’t the us that you know.”

“What are you talking about?”

“What if, the six of us were just guys? Guys who aren’t warriors. Just guys who play games for a living. Guys who have never had any real experience with swords or magic or anything. What if we were just normal people who still got to do something they loved for a living? What if we weren’t warriors, but we were entertainers. People watched us play games. What if one day the six of us got handed a game, and when we went to play that game, we were transported to another world. A world where we are supposed to be warriors and have experience with swords and magic. But we aren’t. We have no idea what we are doing. We have so much pressure on us to lead a mission that we got dropped into but we have no idea what to do. What if that’s why I’m not bubbly. What if Ray’s in denial about the whole thing and that’s why he’s being a douche. What if Michael is scared because he doesn’t understand what’s going on and why everything is so familiar and foreign at the same time? What if Ryan is mopey because he blames himself for getting us to play that game that brought us here? What if Jack’s trying so hard to keep us together but he’s failing because we are all such hot messes. And what if Geoff really has never dealt with something like this before. He has no idea how to handle this. We can’t keep it together and he doesn’t know how to lead us into battle. He’s so goddamn worried about keeping us all alive that he can barely function. And the people who are supposed to be helping us are too goddamn frustrated with our shit that it just makes things more complicated. We’re a goddamn disappointment to Kdin and we can’t even put into words how we feel without sounding like complete nutters! What if that’s what’s really going on?! We are from another world where we live normal live and we got transported here and dropped into a life or death mission and even though we’ve played games like this, this is real and we are all fucking terrified! ” 

Barbara stared for little while again, trying to processes all the information that she has been given.

“Oh god.” Gavin said breathlessly. Barbara was still speechless. “Bollocks you probably think I’ve gone mental. Hell maybe I have.” Gavin says as he sits down. Barbara, having finally figured out what to say next.

“I believe you.”

“What?!”

“Yeah. Gavin I believe you”

“How? Why?” 

“I’m not normally one to leave people wondering, but I seriously think everyone needs to hear the explanation.”

“You have an explanation?”

“Yeah. In Rose Court, they teach everyone the lore of the continent. And I mean all the legends. And I think there is an explanation to all of this in the legends.”

“How?”

“We’ll get everyone together and tell everyone at once.”

“I’m so confused.”

“That’s more like the Gavin I know. Even though you aren’t actually him. God I thought I was going to get gossip on how you and Meg are doing. I didn’t expect to get a legend rehashing.”

“Wait what? Are Meg and I a thing in this universe too? Wait, wait I already gathered that from my armbands. This is so messed up. If you could tell us all why we are here that would be bloody amazing and we could go back to not hating each other as much!” Gavin said in excitement.

“Come on!” Barbara said as she grabbed Gavin with her free hand, and started dragging him back towards the camp.

“Where are we going now?”

“We are going to get your answers.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He's an early update because I'm going to be busy tomorrow. Plus this was actually the first chapter I wrote for this story. (Granted I did have to edit it to make it make more sense because the overall tone of the story turned out to be much more comical than I originally intended. Which is probably for the better) But yeah I came up with most of the dialogue in the shower, cause people normally talk to themselves in the shower right? Anyway, see you next week. Or sooner depending on how I feel about sticking to my schedule.


	11. Lore of the Land

“HEY ASSHOLES, WAKE THE FUCK UP! EVERYONE FRONT AND CENTER!” Barbara screamed as she dragged Gavin back into the camp.

“Barbara, can’t this wait till morning?” Gavin said as he struggled to escape from Barbara’s grasp.

“No, the sooner we discuss this. The sooner we can work on a way to deal with this.”

“You can fix it?”

“Can’t fix. Just explain.” Barbara replied as she stopped in the middle of the camp. She released Gavin from her grip. “I’M SERIOUS GUYS! THERE IS SOMETHING WE NEED TO DISCUSS RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!” she yelled again.

“God could you be any louder?” Ray asked. He had been out by the fire already since he had first night watch.

“I could. Don’t test me.” 

“What’s going on?” Jack asked as he walked into the center of the camp. He was followed by Kerry, Jon, Kara, and Ryan.

“Something super important. But we need everybody here.” Barbara said.

“What is so fucking important that you need to scream?! What time is it anyway?” Michael asked as he too joined the group in the center.

“Michael. You gotta trust her.” Gavin replied.

“Do you know what this is about?” Ryan asked.

“Yes and no.”

“What is it?” Kdin grumbled angrily as she joined the rest of the group. “It better be fucking important.”

“I promise you that it is.” Barbara said as she replenished the fire. 

Finally Geoff joined the group in the middle. “Alright, alright. Let’s get this midnight shit show on the road.” He said as he sat down in front of the fire. “I’m tired as dicks and have a low tolerance for literally everything right now.”

Barbara clapped her hands together. “Alright! Let’s get this meeting of explaining why everyone is being a whiny piss-bitch underway!”

“Wait. You haven’t even been with us for twenty-four hours yet! How do you already know how to fix this?” Michael asked skeptically.

“I don’t know how to fix your problems. I just know how to explain them.”

“The problem is that you all are selfish and stupid.” Kdin said with a huff.

“What the hell happened to not insulting us as much?!” Jack asked.

“It’s not an insult it’s a fact.”

“It’s an insulting fact that you could have kept to yourself.”

“Oh my god will all of you just shut the fuck up!?” Barbara yelled. The bickering ceased. “Good. So Gavin here was kind enough to explain what was going on.”

“You told her? Why?” Ray asked.

“She twisted it out of me! ...Also I’m really sick of fighting…” Gavin said sadly.

“What exactly did you tell her?” Ryan asked

“’bout our confusion and stuff.” Gavin replied quietly.

“And you believed him?” 

“Yeah, I did. I trust him. Plus it was too stupidly sad to not be true.” Barbara answered.

“And you know why this is a thing?” Ray asked.

“Yeah!”

“Well. On with it!” Geoff demanded.

“Right.” Barbara cleared her throat. “So does anyone know what one of the specialties of Rose Court is?”

“Rose petals?” Jack asked.

“Nope.”

“Being perceptive little bitches?” Jon asked.

“Yes but not what I’m going for.”

“Legends?” Kara asked innocently.

“Yes! We know every legend and keep meticulous records of all the lore of the land.”

“Ok…” Ray said in confusion.

“Kerry! You’re the best story teller here.” Barbara said as she turned towards him.

“I am?” he replied. Barbara glared at him. “Oh right. Of course I am. Yes. What legend should I convey that is probably going to answer everyone’s questions?”

“Do you remember the legend of the Ender Dragon?”

“Uh…” Kerry thought for about it for a minute. “Yep I remember. Had to go digging through the memory bank but yeah it’s definitely there.”

“The legend of the Ender Dragon?” Kdin asked.

“Yeah. Why don’t you know that one? Aren’t you the dragon speaker or something?” 

“Rose Court keeps their books on legend under lock and key. You all wouldn’t let me read it when I tried.” Kdin said.

“Oh yeah. We don’t really share that shit around. Something about spoilers.”

“Oh my god will you get on with it!” Geoff yelled.

“Ok. Ok. Jeez!” Kerry cleared his throat. “This is the Legend of the Ender Dragon. Abridged. 1000 years ago the Ender Dragon rose and severed its ties with the dragon speaker issuing a warning that it would attack in one month’s time. The ruler of the Achievement Kingdom sent it’s bravest 6 knights and the dragon speaker to defeat the dragon, but as a tactic for victory, the dragon used it’s magic to take away all the skills and proper memories from the knights, leaving them confused and helpless. Before the month was up the knights were able to gain enough of their skills back to beat the dragon into submission but to deal to final blow, the knights could either solve a riddle or the dragon speaker would have to sacrifice himself to seal the dragon away for 1000 years. Alas the 6 still could not solve the riddle and the dragon speaker was forced to sacrifice himself with the knowledge that the dragon’s wrath was only sealed away for 1000 years.”

“Holy… Shit…” Michael said in shock.

“And how long has it been since that legend first arose?” Barbara asked Kerry

“About a thousand why do-” Kerry gasped. “THAT’S WHY THE DRAGON IS ATTACKING NOW! EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE FOREVER!” Kerry exclaimed in realization.

“That’s not the only thing it explained.”

“It explains why we don’t know anything about this world, our powers, or how do be knights.” Gavin said.

“So… what you’re saying is… the Ender Dragon has the power to mind swap different versions of people with each other. From alternate universes. Is that what you’re saying?” Ryan asked.

“Yeah. The dragon can do that.”

“That is such over powered bullshit.” Ray complained.

“But it’s an explanation.” Barbara said.

“Out of all the shit it could be. That actually makes the most sense.” Gavin said.

“You would be able to follow convoluted bullshit.” Jack said as he rolled his eyes.

“God if that is true, then someone punch me!” Ray exclaimed.

“Ok.” Michael said as he got up and punched Ray square in the jaw.

“OW!” Ray yelped in pain.

“Hey you asked. Do you want me to punch you more? Do you want to get the shit kicked out of you by an army of Mogars? Because just say the word and that can be arranged.” Michael replied calmly.

“No thank you. But I guess I deserved that.”

“So, none of this is my fault?” Ryan asked.

“No. The dragon may have used a trigger but if that failed he would how found another way to get you all.” Barbara answered.

“Fun fact in the original story, the six replacements were all lovers apparently. That made it awkward for everyone.” Kerry said.

“All useless facts aside, I’m really happy that this wasn’t my fault. I’ve been feeling like shit for no reason.” Ryan said.

“I mean, I was a dick. But I get that this shit is serious. And stupid. But serious none the less.” Ray said.

“But what happened after the dragon was sealed away? Did the lovers ever go home?” Jack asked.

“Yeah. They had to bring the body of the dragon speaker back to the ruler of the Achievement Kingdom, and it was sad and shit, but the land was safe and their minds were restored.” Kerry answered.

“So if we can beat it then we can go home.” Jack asked.

“Probably.”

“Oh my god this is awesome! We’re not going to be trapped here forever!”

“I love a happy ending!” Kara exclaimed with glee.

“So what’s the plan for getting these idiots into shape then?” Jon asked.

“Well. I was thinking that it’s going to take 3 more days to get to Machinima. When we get there, we tell the whole truth, and then maybe take a week or two and train you guys as much as we can. Hopefully by the end of the month, when the dragon needs to be taken out, we’ll be able to take him out.” Barbara suggested.

“But what if that’s not enough?” Geoff asks quietly.

“Huh?”

“What if you train us all you want and it’s still not enough?” Geoff asked in a panicked voice. 

Barbara walked over to Geoff and put her hand on his shoulder. ”I know you don’t know how to do this. But the knights at Machinima Kingdom are really good at training people to be great.”

“I think we’re a lost cause anyway.”

“Geoff you can’t think like that…” Gavin said. “We have to try. For the sake of this world and for the sake of getting home!”

“Who cares whether you win or lose?” Kdin said sadly. “I’m a dead woman walking either way.”

“Kdin you don’t-“

“YES I DO!” Kdin cried. “DIDN’T YOU LISTEN TO THE LEGEND?! IF YOU CAN’T BEAT THE DRAGON WE DIE! EVEN IF YOU DO MANAGE TO BEAT THE DRAGON I DOUBT YOU’LL BE ABLE SO SOLVE WHATEVER RIDDLE IT THROWS AT YOU! I’LL HAVE TO DIE FOR YOU!” he continued to sob.

“Kdin, maybe we’ll pull though for you.” Michael said. “We can be smart when we want to be.”

“No you won’t! You all hate me! I’ve been nothing but be a tool to you and it turns out you’re not even the people I thought you were! Why would you care if I died?! WELL I DON’T WANT TO FUCKING DIE FOR YOU!” 

“We don’t want you to die for us either. Honest. We don’t want anyone to die.” Ryan said.

“Well now I’m going to and it’s going to fucking suck!” Kdin yelled.

“I really thought an explanation would take care of all the pessimism.” Barbara said with a sigh.

“You tried” Kara offered in support.

“You managed to stop our confusion. But that doesn’t change the fact that we still have to fight this dragon.” Jack said.

“I feel better though. I can’t believe Geoff’s bullshit excuse from the first day was right.” Ray said.

“Wait. You called this?” Kerry asked Geoff.

“It doesn’t matter. I’m going back to bed.” Geoff said as he stood up and went back to his area.

“He’ll come around eventually.” Gavin said. “I for one though, am tired and happy.”

“Let’s kick ass for the rest of this. No more emotional bullshit. Just dragon slaying. Who’s with me?” Michael asked.

“Yeah!” the rest of the group minus Kdin said in unison.

“Fuck all of you. I’m going to bed.” Kdin said as she walked away.

“Well, almost everyone’s on the same page.” Ryan said.

“Something tells me we’ll have our shit together by the time we really need it.” Kerry said.

“I hope you’re right.” Jack said as he looked into the night sky, feeling good for the first time in a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So for this week, I’m going to be updating Minequest today and Wednesday because I’m going to be busy tomorrow working on something and I’m going home on Thursday. So here is the thing today. See you on Wednesday


	12. Welcome the Soldiers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting this from a mother fucking train with shitty train wifi

With the weights of their burdens off of their shoulders, the party was able to make it to the Machinima Kingdom without incident. Of course, not everyone was happy quite yet. The party was making its final stop before going off the face the Ender Dragon. With every step, Geoff became increasingly more aware of the gravity of the situation. He would have to lead his friends into the most dangerous situation any of them had ever faced. What happened if one of them got injured or worse? The fact that everybody was being more lenient on them did due to the dragon’s magic did not lessen the weight.

And not everyone was willing to be more lenient. Kdin’s hatred for the Achievement Hunters grew along with her fear of death. It did not help that the people he thought were terrible, weren’t even the people they were supposed to be. Everything was so wrong, and to top it all off, she had to die for these strangers.

Kdin was lost in his thoughts when suddenly somebody started shaking him. “Dude. Earth to dragon dildo, you got the plan?” Ray said as he shook the Dragon Speaker.

“I wasn’t listening.”

“I know. You never listen to us.” Ray replied as he rolled his eyes.

“The plan” Barbara started. “Is to just straight tell the truth. No bullshit. They will understand. I promise you all that.”

“Thank fucking god.” Michael said with a sigh of relief.

“Alright so do we just call up to the gate again?” Jack asked.

“Hey! Jack! You’re Fat!” A voiced called from the top of the gate.

“Or we could just have that.” 

“Joel let us in we have important stuff to do!” Jon yelled.

“Ok.” Joel yelled back as he went to let the party into the kingdom.

“Yeah, you are fat Jack.” Gavin remarked.

“Can we go a week without making any ‘Jack is fat’ jokes?” Jack asked.

“Dude this is the first one that’s been made since we got here.” Ray answered.

“Step it up senpai.” Kerry added.

“Get that weeb shit out of here.” Geoff said.

“It finally speaks.” Ryan remarked

“What finally speaks?” Joel asked as he opened the door. “Welcome back to Machinima. I see you brought the King’s concubine.”

“Ok. I give up. Who are you talking about?” Geoff asked.

“I’m not his concubine. What we have is loving and special.” Kerry replied curtly.

“Whatever you say, potato child.” Joel said as he motioned for the parted to follow him into the kingdom.

The kingdom was painted in varying shades of red and blues. The buildings looked more modern than the style of architecture in the previous kingdoms.

“Why am I a potato child?” Kerry asked.

“I don’t know. It felt appropriate.” Joel replied.

“So this is where we’re going to be staying for a while?” Gavin asked.

“I guess.” Barbara answered. 

“But we don’t have that much time.”

“We have about two weeks left according to the legend.” Ryan adds.

“Who the hell said anything about you staying?” Joel asked.

“We’re probably going to need to be here for a while.” Kara said. “You understand in when we talk to the king.”

The group continued to walk to the castle, which was decorated similarly to the rest of the kingdom. Joel opened the doors to the castle. “Look, things are pretty busy around here. But the king will always make time for his concubine/butt buddy/I don’t understand nor care about why thing escalated the way they did guy, so this isn’t going to be a problem.”

“Kerry, I’m hurt. I thought we had something special.” Ray joked as they continued to follow Joel.

“You have a special place in my heart Ray. Or at least the Ray I know. I guess I could let you have one too. You seem pretty chill. You know, now that you’re not being an asshole to people.” Kerry replied.

“You can’t fix me being an asshole.” 

“Believe me we’ve tried.” Jack said.

“Shut up fatty.”

“Goddammit Joel! Why did you have to open the floodgates?!” Jack exclaimed.

“How about I open these gates too.” Joel said as he pushed open the door to the throne room. “King pumpkin patrol! Your mistress and a bunch of other people are here to see you. Apparently it is important and they are going to stay here for a while.” Joel motioned to the group in question. “Also they’re acting weirder than normal.” He paused and whispered, “I don’t trust them.”

“Joel. No.” The king said as he got up off of his throne and rushed to meet the group. “KEREBEAR!” He squealed with delight as he ran up to Kerry. “I missed you so much!” He said as he planted a kiss onto Kerry’s cheek.

“I missed you too honey.” Kerry replied as he accepted the affection.

“Wait… Why are you the king? Why weren’t you in Rose Court? Why isn’t Burnie king here?” Geoff asked confused.

“He’s kind of the lead writer on RVB. This does make sense.” Gavin answered.

“I mean, I don’t know what RVB is, but you were at my coronation Geoff! I mean you were probably drunk. But you were there!” Miles replied

“Oh my god so you are an asshole in this universe!” Kdin exclaimed.

“Oh my god, we get it. You’re the world’s saltiest weenie.” Jon said.

“And about the whole being there thing…” Barbara started.

“You might want to sit down for this Miles.” Kerry said. “Cause it’s going to be a wild ride.” Miles then sat down right in the middle of the floor.

“I’m listening. Anything to distract me from responsibilities.” Miles said. Suddenly another knight walked into the room.

“Sir, Burnie wanted me to-” the knight started.

“Not now Kyle, come join us for story time.” Miles replied as he patted the spot next to him. Kyle sighed. He walked over and sat down next to his king.

“So are we not going to do chairs? Just sitting down in the middle of the floor?” Jon asked.

“But the floor is dirty.” Kara whined.

“Who cares? The sooner we explain everything the easier things will be.” Michael said. As he sat down on the floor as well. The rest of the group also sat down.

“Ok so… You know about the Ender Dragon?” Barbara asked.

“Yeah…” Miles replied.

“We according to Salty Weenie McDragondildo,” Barbara pointed at Kdin. “The Ender Dragon is going to attack the land at the end of the month. She knows this because she is the dragon speaker.”

“Getting creative with the insults there Barb.” Ryan remarked.

“You’re all are a bag of dicks.”

“We know.” Michael replied.

“Oh my god that’s horrible!” Miles said. “What do we do?”

“Well, Queen Lindsay of Achievement Kingdom, said that we should gather knight from all of the kingdoms and fight together.” Gavin said.

“But it’s slightly more complicated.” Kerry said.

“I mean that sounds solid.” Miles said. “Is there a problem?”

“Yeah. The dragon did some weird magic bullshit and proved the existence of parallel universes.” Ryan said.

“What?”

“He swapped the consciousness of the Achievement Knights from our world with alternate versions of themselves from another world.” Barbara said.

“What… the fuck? Ok that’s fucking weird. How does that even work?”

“The dragon is capable of reality bending magic. It lives in its own and teleports to others. It’s really powerful” Kdin said sadly.

“Cheer up. Lindsay’s plan still makes sense. And we can help!” Miles said enthusiastically. “And I’ll come with you!”

“Miles, why do you get to be the hero?” Kerry asked.

“Cause I’ve always wanted to beat a dragon.”

“Sir, that’s really not a good idea.” Kyle said.

“Why is it a bad idea?”

“You have to run a kingdom. And you’re still pretty new…”

“Don’t patronize me Kyle, I have a healing enhancement.”

“Is that this kingdom’s word for power?” Jack asked.

“Shut up.” Geoff said.

“What you can do does mean it’s a good idea, Miles.”

“What is this? Buzzkill hour?” Suddenly the door slammed open.

“Kyle, I told you to update the King on knight training what the fuck…” the knight paused. “Oh. You having a party?” He asked.

“So that’s where Burnie was.” Joel said.

“Joel, shut up.”

“So are we just going to have a fucking party and then die in dragon fire?” Kdin asked.

“I like parties.” Kerry said quietly.

“God how did we get so many people?” Jon asked.

“Very carefully.” Ryan answered.

“Burnie! Kyle said I can’t go on an adventure to slay the Ender Dragon!” Miles whined.

“Holy shit is that why they’re here?! Also I agree. You’re need here.” Burnie answered.

“Come on!”

“I’m serious. I stepped down because I knew you could do a good job as king. And you’ve proved me right so far. But you need to keep proving me right. If people manage to find out that life as we know it is threatened, the people are going to go to you for guidance. Your place is here. Action later.”

“I hate it when you’re serious.”

“Yeah, seriously right.”

“So now that we’ve established that Miles isn’t allowed to fight dragons, we kinda need to learn how to fight.” Michael said. 

“I can do that. And Joel. And the others. We’re really good at training knights. For what? I don’t know.” Burnie replied.

“So it’s settled then. You’ll train us until we have to go fight the dragon.” Gavin said. 

Yeah ok we can start now.” Burnie said as he started to exit. “Follow me.” 

“WAIT! I almost forgot.” Kara yelled as she reached down into her pocket. “Lady Zech wanted me to deliver a message to you, Miles.” She said as grabbed the letter and handed it to Miles. His face fell as he opened the letter. “What’s wrong?”

“This literally just says ‘REMEMBER TO SHAVE!’ How does she freaking do that?!” Miles replied.

“Women are super powerful. They just know.” Ray answered.

“My betrothed freaking would. Kara, next time you see her just tell her I have my facial hair under control”

“I can do that.” Kara replied.

“So now that the punchline to that joke is out of the way, can we go start? We’re losing daylight!” Burnie said as he motioned towards the door.

“Yes.” Geoff said as he got up off of the floor. “Lead the way.” The rest of the people on the floor got up off of the floor as well and followed Burnie out of the throne room.

“I don’t know what we are doing because I stopped listening a while ago but I’m excited.” Joel said

“HAVE FUN AT KNIGHT SCHOOL!” Miles yelled as the door to his throne room closed.

And thus the Achievement Knight began their training to be actual knights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I meant to post yesterday but stuff happened and I really was just not feeling well at all. Sorry about that be back at our usual time next week. Even though today was technically usual time


	13. Take Me to Church

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I can't be creative with title names anymore

The following day, the group was up very early to begin their training. Machinima truly did have the best knight training facilities out of the four kingdoms. They had access to more weapons than most and had built the foundations for their kingdom on honor and military expertise. Of course this had not stopped the top ranking knights to hail from the Achievement Kingdom, but with the group currently incapacitated, it was Machinima’s time to shine.

The six knights from the Achievement Kingdom had been split up. Gavin and Jack were working on managing their powers with Barbara and Joel respectively because they had the same ones. Michael, Ryan, and Ray, were learning combat skills with Kara, Kyle, and Jon, while Burnie supervised. Geoff and Kdin sat off to the side of the main training area and observed with Kerry and Miles.

“Why aren’t you training with them Geoff?” Miles asked. “I mean, I know you’re not, ‘Sir Ramsey,’ but you’re still their leader right?” 

“I wouldn’t say that…” 

“Well, what are they to you where you’re from?”

“I’m their boss I guess. I pay them and they work for me. But they’re also my friends. And they mean a lot to me.”

“So I guess those feelings carried over then. Cause they mean a lot to you here too.” Miles said with a smile.

“Yeah, you’re like drunken knight dad here. Jack is knight mom, and everyone else are your shitty knight children. Including Lindsay and I sometimes.” Kerry added.

“Lindsay too huh?”

“Oh yeah, she’ll kick anyone’s ass. She’ll kick her own ass. That’s why she makes the best queen.” Kerry said as Miles pouted with jealously. “I said best queen. You’re a king and my loyalties are being spread then enough as is.”

Geoff shifted his position. “So, do you really think this will work?” Kdin perked up with interest.

“It’s not’s like you have a choice, besides, the last guys to fight the dragon beat it into submission, so you’ll probably at least make that.”

“But what if-“

“It can’t be about what ifs. You just kinda have to bite the arrowhead you know.”

“I think you mean bite the bullet.”

“I don’t know what that is. It’s something for your weird alternate dimension right?”

“How are you grasping the concept of alternate dimensions so easily anyway?”

“Well, there was a time where the Achievement Knights went into this other alternate dimension called, ‘The Nether’ and had to beat evil nega versions of themselves. This isn’t the first time we’ve had shit like this.” Kerry said.

“I remember that. Good times.” Miles said.

“Well I’m glad they saved you all!” Geoff said angrily.

“Jeez. Who put pissed in your breakfast?”

“No one… I’m… I’m going to check on the others.” Geoff said as he got up and walked away.

“Don’t forget to start training! I’d be insulted if you didn’t!” Miles called after him. Geoff walked towards the fighting area where Michael and Kara were sparing once more. Though this time, it was in a controlled environment.

“I’m going to kick your ass this time Kara!” Michael exclaimed as he charged at her. She quickly moved out of the way and dodged his attack. “AH FUCK!” he yelled as he tripped and fell flat on his face.

Kara walked over to him and held out her hand. “You’re never going to win with brute force. You have got to learn defense. And also a bit more grace might help?” she suggested.

“Since when has grace ever one a fight?” 

“I’ve beaten you every time haven’t I?” 

Michael shrugged. “Fair enough.” He said as he grabbed Kara’s hand and pulled himself up.

“Ready to try again?” she asked

“You fucking know it” Michael smirked. 

Geoff sighed as he walked towards the other side of the fighting area. There, Ryan had tackled Ray to the ground, and Jon and Kyle were on the ground laughing.

“RYAN STOP KICKING MY ASS! I’M GOING TO DIE BEFORE IT COUNTS!” Ray cried from underneath Ryan. Ryan quickly got up and helped Ray up as well.

“I’m sorry. I just keep imagining your face as Gavin’s face and it just makes you really punchable.” Ryan replied.

“I’m so glad I suggested that! This is hilarious!” Kyle gasped out, still struggling to breath.

“Dude, this is starting to get weird.” Ray said crossing his arms.

“We swapped minds with alternate universe versions of ourselves and it’s weird when I when I tackle you to the ground?” Ryan asked.

Ray shook his head, “if we keep meeting like this people are gunna talk.”

“Naw I respect you too much. Probably.”

“FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! Kiss. Kiss. Kiss.” Jon said.

“I HEARD SOMEONE STEALING MY LINE!” Joel yelled from across the training yard. Geoff walked towards the sound of Joel’s incoherent yelling.

“GEOFF!” Gavin exclaimed as he saw Geoff walking towards the power training area.

Geoff looked up in acknowledgement. “Hey buddy. What up?”

“Did you know I can breathe fire too? I’m also like the Ender Dragon!” Gavin said with excitement!

“No. I didn’t know you could do that. That pretty neat.”

“WATCH!” Gavin said as he turned and walked towards a set of charred targets. Geoff watched closely as Gavin took a deep breath and a think tongue of flames came out of his mouth. He quickly stopped and began coughing. “Can’t… do it… for very long.” He wheezed.

“You probably should stand closer to the target.” Barbara said as she walked over and patted Gavin on the back.

“It was cool though right?” Gavin asked.

Geoff paused for a moment. “Yeah” he said unenthusiastically.

“You don’t sound happy.”

“No seriously. Its cool.”

“Hell yeah it is” Barbara added. “He’s learning quickly. Soon we might have to fight him like the actual Ender Dragon!”

“HAHAHAAHAHAhahahaha. But seriously please don’t kill me.” Gavin said.

Geoff gulped. “Dragon fighting… Right… Listen, I’m going to go-“ 

“GEOFF!” Jack yelled. 

Geoff groaned and turned towards the man who was walking towards him. “Hi…”

“Ok, so Joel is an idiot who has the strength glow hands thing too apparently. And now I kinda get how to turn it on and off.” Jack said happily. Then he held out his and demonstrated. “On. Off. On. Off.”

“Yeah I can see that.” Geoff groaned.

“Also I can do this,” and suddenly, Jack karate chopped the wooden fence surrounding the power training area. “Who’s the useless fatass now?”

“STILL YOU! ALSO YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR THAT!” Joel yelled from across the area. Jack groaned with dismay.

“So… Have you been training Geoff?” Gavin asked innocently.

“Uh… no I haven’t” Geoff replied.

“Wait. What not?” Jack asked

“Because what’s the point!?”

“What do you mean what’s the point?! We have a job to do!” 

“Do you really think that any of this is going to change anything? Tell me straight up, do you honestly think we can do this?!” Geoff barked

“YES! If we try hard enough, we can beat this dragon!”

“How do you know Jack, How do you fucking know that! I’ve heard the us of this place can do. And let me tell you something, there is no way in hell we can do anything like that!”

“Since when did you become Kdin level of bitter? You’re being ridiculous!”

“First of all, how dare you! Second of all, this whole situation is fucking ridiculous!”

“You know it would be nice of you to have some faith in us!” Jack yelled as he walked back to go continue his training. “Come back when you’re done being a bitch!”

“Fine!” Geoff yelled back

“Why do I always have to be in the wrong place at the wrong time?” Gavin asked

“Shut up!” Geoff said angrily as he walked towards an isolated corner of the training area. He knew he was acting like a hormonal middle school, but he just didn’t understand he they weren’t just as scared as him. He sat down away from everyone else. _“This whole situation is just too messed up.”_ He thought to himself. _“I might be a bitch, but I just don’t want to die. I don’t want any of them to die.”_ He sighed.

“Hey!” Geoff heard a voice yell at him. He looked up and saw Burnie hovering over him. “Heard you were being a bitch.”

“Word travels fast.”

“Hell yeah it does.” Burnie replied as he sat down next to Geoff. “So why are you then?”

“It’s not a simple answer.”

“It’s fear isn’t it.”

Geoff turned to face Burnie. “You don’t know the half of it.”

“I probably do.”

“Bullshit. Everyone walks around here without a care in the fucking world. It’s like we’re not about to die in a fire.”

“Gavin’s not that bad.”

“You know what I fucking mean.” Geoff growled.

“Calm down. I know their all scared. But at the same time they all really want to be brave.”

“Never realized how good of a show they could put on.”

“Well you’re entertainers we’re you’re from right?” Burnie asked.

“Yeah, it’s an act. But also real. It’s complicated.”

“And you’re their leader right?”

“I wouldn’t say I’m their leader…”

“But you typically give them direction. Is this true?”

“I mean… I guess…”

“Well. Whether you realize it or not, they all look up to you. It may be off to think about it but they do.” 

“I don’t believe that.”

“You know, Gavin and Jack were very eager to show off what they learned so far to you.” Burnie noted.

“Ok, yeah. But that’s just them, Gavin is like my kid and Jack has worked with me for so long. The other ones are wildcards.”

“Give them a shot. I bet they respect you.”

Geoff sighed, “Whatever man.”

“I heard Ryan say he’d throw a knife at a dragon in your name.”

“Ok, now you’re just making shit up.”

“Hey, if it gets you to step up your game, then so be it.” 

“Look, don’t tell anyone this… but I actually do care about them. A lot.” Geoff admitted. 

“Prove it.”

“How?”

“Lead them, make sure they survive and are victorious. Look, I have to go back and make sure Kara doesn’t accidentally hurt Michael.” Burnie said as he got up.

“Too late.”

“You read to head back and prepare to face your fears?” Burnie asked as he held out a hand to Geoff.

Geoff took his hand. ”Yeah. I guess I have to.” He said as he pulled himself up.

“Where do you want to start?” Burnie asked.

Geoff thought about for a moment. “I think I want to try and kick Jack’s ass.”


	14. Not For Us

Geoff ran quickly to the area of the field where Gavin and Jack were training. Burnie waved him off before returning to his original post of supervising the combat training.

“I’M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS JACK!” Geoff yelled as he ran towards the bearded man. Jack looked up at the sound of his name and immediately facepalmed.

Joel elbowed him. “You hear that, Jack? He’s going to kick your ass.” He laughed.

Jack sighed. “Yeah, I got that, although I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with him now.”

Geoff finally made it to the training area, out of breath. “I want… to fight you.” he wheezed.

“Look, I know you’re pissed at me and the universe, but I don’t see how that’s going to fix anything.”

“No… you were right to yell at me. I was being stupid.”

“Yeah no shit!”

“I’m just scared alright. But I should have more faith in you guys. And myself too.”

“Yet again. No shit.”

“So, in order to not bring everyone down, I’m going to join you guys.”

“TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH!” Michael yelled from across the training area.

“How the hell can he hear that?”

Jack rolled his eyes and smiled. “Things work in strange ways. Also don’t turn around.”

“Huh? What are yo-” then suddenly Geoff was cut off as he was tackled to the ground by Michael. He then sat down on top of Geoff to prevent him from getting up. “But. You were just-”

“What? Still over in the combat training area? Yeah. We just decided to surprise you.” Said a second Michael, who was standing over Geoff.

“What… Wait... What… How is this-?”

“Remember when Kdin said that I could make clones of myself? I figured we were training and maybe trying to figure out how to do that would help me beat Kara. Turns out she can still beat two of me at once.” the Michael who was sitting on top of Geoff said.

“Kara said I can make up to ten clones, but this is the first time I’ve tried this so…” The other Michael said.

“I’m not drunk enough to deal with this shit.” Geoff said with a sigh.

“God this is bloody weird.” Gavin said as he walked towards the sight with Barbara.

“I guess it’s _two_ many Michaels for Geoff to handle.” Barbara said with a smirk.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP BARBARA!” Both Michaels yelled simultaneously.

“I normally would boo that, but I believe Geoff wanted to fight me. So Michael…s if you could please?” Jack asked.

The standing Michael disappeared with a puff of smoke. 

“Great. I was hoping you were the clone.” Geoff said sarcastically.

“Nope. I’m the original Michael.” Michael said as he got off of Geoff. “His ass is all yours Jack.”

“Thank you.” Jack replied as he pulled Geoff off of the ground. “Come on lets go to the actual combat area.” He said as he dragged Geoff in that direction.

“You’re looking forward to this aren’t you?” Geoff asked.

“Absolutely.” Jack said as he shoved Geoff into the fighting space. Ryan and Ray were taking a break off to the side.

“So Geoff, did you finally want to start training?” Ryan asked.

“Yes. I’m going to fight Jack.”

“Oh this is going to be good.” Ray said.

“Geoff you’re going to get your ass kicked.” Ryan said.

“I know what I’m about son. Besides, Jack is going to go easy on me since I said I was sorry. Right?” Geoff asked. 

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.” Jack replied.

“Welp. I’m fucked.”

“Yep.” Jack said as he grabbed a sword. Geoff gulped and grabbed a sword as well.

“I’m going to call this shit. It’s going to be interesting.” Burnie said. Jack and Geoff got into positions. “Ready? FIGHT!”

Geoff decided that it would be a good idea to charge at Jack since there was no way this was going to end well for him anyway. Plus he had nothing to lose. As Geoff charged towards him, Jack dropped his sword. Right as Geoff was about to swing, Jack activated his power and ripped the sword out of Geoff’s hands and quickly shoved him on the ground. He put his foot on top of Geoff to prevent him from getting up.

“You fight dirty, Pattillo.”

“Don’t act like you didn’t have this coming.”

“Yeah… I’m going to say Jack won. Even though he didn’t do it right.” Burnie said.

“I GET IT I’M AN ASSHOLE WHO DESERVES TO GET THE SHIT KICKED OUT OF!” Geoff exclaimed.

“I think you just needed some sense knocked into you.” Ryan said.

“Burnie already did that and it was less violent!”

“Sometimes physical sense knocking works too. I’m living proof.” Ray said.

“Please let me up.” Geoff pleaded. Jack smiled and lifted his foot. “Thank you.” he said as he got up. “Goddamn that strength thing is strong. Thank god Michael didn’t get that or we’d all be screwed.” Jack, Ryan, and Ray laughed. Team Nice Dynamite soon joined the rest of their group.

“So you going to train now?” Gavin asked.

“Yeah. We’re going to learn how to kick ass.”

And that is just what they spent to rest of the day doing. It was late when the knights retired for the day. Sometime in the middle of the day, Kdin had left the training field and instead opted to go read in the castle’s library. It was the first time in a long time she could be alone. Although most of the reading in the Machinima library was more about military strategy than the history that she preferred, it was still nice to get away from everyone. Or at least that was until much later in the night.

Geoff walked into the library and paused when he saw Kdin sitting at a table reading. “So that’s where you ran off to.” He remarked.

Kdin looked up from his book, “Not that you really give a shit.”

“Nice to see you too…”

“Look, I don’t know why you came looking for me, But I’d rather be alone.” Kdin said annoyed.

“I didn’t come looking for you. I came in here looking for a book. Kerry said it might be useful and I figured why not. Also google or the internet don’t exist here.” Geoff said as he began to eye the shelves.

“I didn’t even know you could read.”

“I’m stupid not illiterate.”

“Whatever.” Kdin said as he returned to his book. Geoff continued to eye the shelves until he found the book he was looking for. He quickly swiped it from the shelf, only to knock some of the other books from the shelf onto the floor.

“Fucking dammit.” Geoff whispered to himself as he set his book down on the table where Kdin was sitting and went to pick up the rest of the books.

Kdin looked up from her book once more to see what book Geoff needed.

“Why the hell do you need a book of riddles?” Kdin asked.

“Well, I remember Kerry said that once the Dragon was physically defeated by the knights in the legend, they had to solve a riddle to fully finish it off.”

“Yeah. And they couldn’t do it.”

“So I figured I try and research some riddles to maybe figure out what the dragon is going to say.”

“What’s the point? I’ll just end up having to sacrifice myself.”

“But what if you don’t have to?”

Kdin looked at Geoff. “What do you mean? It’s not like you-”

“Stop assuming I want you to have to die.” Geoff said bluntly.

“How can you not?”

“Listen, you’ve been nothing but an ass this whole time. Trust me, I haven’t forgotten all of a sudden. But I haven’t been the greatest either. We both said and did a lot of things we shouldn’t have. But that doesn’t mean I want you to have to die for us. I wouldn’t want that of anyone. So, if we can prevent you having to die for us, we will.”

Kdin stared at the man he had hated for the duration of this quest. He wasn’t sure what to think of him anymore.

“Look, just try and have faith in us. I need to try and have faith in us too. But don’t just assume we don’t care about you. I mean I don’t really like you. And I haven’t forgiven you. But I’ll do everything I can to make sure you don’t die for us.” Geoff said as he finished re-shelving the books. “Have a good night. Also, you’re free to join us in training, you know if you want to learn self-defense or some shit. Also you might offend the king if you don’t. But seriously though. Good night.” He said as he finally grabbed his book and left.

Maybe Kdin had to rethink how she had been approached this whole quest. Maybe there was hope after all. And even if there wasn’t, maybe these guys weren’t nearly as shitty as she though. Well, they probably were, but that didn’t mean Kdin didn’t have a lot of re-evaluating to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look forward to a poorly written battle scene next tuesday


	15. Jump to the End

Over the course of the following weeks, the Achievement Hunters got strong. They learned to control their powers and how to fight with a good mixture of both offense and defense. Ryan and Ray focused more on learning how to fight without powers since it wouldn’t do anything in the actual fight with the Ender Dragon. Gavin, Jack and Michael mastered their abilities as much as they could within a short time. Michael even finally managed to beat Kara in a sparring match.

But the time finally came to enter the End and defeat the dragon. The final members of the party, Burnie, and Joel, gathered around an un-activated End portal in the basement of the castle.

“Ok, so how does it turn on?” Kara asked.

“You need to have an Eye of Ender in each of the blocks” Jack answered.

“How did you know that?” Kerry asked.

“This place is kinda like a game we play back in our own universe.” Gavin said.

“Yeah, a shitty game.” Ray mumbles under his breath. 

“HUSH!” 

Geoff looked at the portal and counted the Eyes of Ender. “There are only eleven here. Where is the last one?”

From the back of the room, Kdin raised up her hand, holding the last Eye, “I have it, the people who were building the portal said I should hold onto it for safe keeping. You know, dragon guy and whatnot.” He said as he made his way towards the portal.

Geoff nodded. “That makes sense.” When Kdin got to the front of the room, she paused. “So… are you going to put it in so we can stop doomsday?”

“… Yeah… It’s now or never I guess.” He said sadly.

“DO IT FOR US ALL!” Michael yelled. 

And with that, Kdin sighed and put the last Eye of Ender into place. Suddenly a dark purple glow erupted from the portal along with an eerie growling noise.

“Well that is terrifying.” Jon remarked.

“So… Who’s going in first?” Barbara asked.

“I think I should.” Geoff volunteered. “I’m the one that has to lead, whether I want to or not, so I’ll go.”

“Actually. I will.” Kdin said. “And I’ll lead you all to the dragon.” 

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. I think I would be best if I went first.”

“I’m not going to fight you then. See you on the other side buddy.” Geoff saluted Kdin as she jumped into the portal. “And I’ll see the rest of you on the other side.” He continued as he jumped in next. 

“I say Team Lads go in together!” Gavin exclaimed.

“Team Lads live together and die together!” Michael said as he grabbed Gavin’s hand.

“Gay.” Ray said.

“Says the person who listens to meatspin on repeat.” Michael said as he grabbed Ray’s hand. 

“TEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMM LLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDSSSSSSSSS!” Gavin screamed as he dragged Michael and Ray into the portal.

“What’s meatspin? It sounds fun.” Kerry asked.

“Don’t worry about it.” Ryan said as he followed Team Lads into the portal. Jack quickly followed behind him.

Soon the rest of the party, Joel being the last one, finally entered the End. The rest of the party was staring at the sky.

“So where is the dragon supposed to be? I thought Kdin person was going to lead us to him?” Joel asked. Burnie grabbed his head and forced him to look up. “Oh.”

“He was probably expecting us.” Barbara said sternly.

“Well we did procrastinate.” Kerry said with a shrug.

“Not helping dude.” Jon said. 

“INCOMING!” Ray screamed as a thick stream of purple flames headed towards them. The group quickly scattered as Dragon flew low.

“We just fucking got here, can you give us a minute to regroup before crazy shit happens?” Geoff yelled.

 ** _“Unfortunately not!”_** a booming voice said as the Ender Dragon temporarily landed.

“You must be cocky as fuck if you have the balls to land.” Michael said angrily.

 ** _“I trust in my ability to incapacitate and destroy.”_** The dragon replied.

“How can you even talk to us? I thought only Kdin could talk to you.” Ryan asked

**_“The sad child has outgrown his usefulness and my sentence is up. I am the god of this realm and I intend on being the god of yours.”_ **

“ENOUGH MOCKING! YOU WILL PAY FOR THE BULLSHIT YOU PUT US THROUGH YOU GIANT SCALEY SACK OF SHIT!” Geoff yelled angrily.

 ** _“VERY WELL.”_** The dragon said as it took to the skies once more.

“COME DOWN HERE AND FIGHT US LIKE A MAN ASSHOLE!”

“Don’t be sexist Geoff…” Michael commented.

“You know what I mean!”

Suddenly another stream of fire rained down upon the group.

“Shit!” Geoff said as he dodged out of the way.

“GAVIN WE CAN REDIRECT THAT!” Barbara barked.

“Right!” Gavin said as he and Barbara ran closer towards the flames. They both used their fire manipulation to dissipate the flames. “That was bloody awesome!”

“Don’t get too excited. We need a way to get it down here.” Burnie said.

“I have an idea, but we need rope and arrows.” Jon said.

“Ok first of all, we forgot rope, second, do you really think an arrow is going to keep it down?” Kdin asked.

Geoff began to concentrate. “Geoff, what are you doing?” Jack asked. Suddenly, a bunch of rope appeared in Geoff’s hands.

“Is this enough? Because I’m not sure if I could do that again.” Geoff said.

“YEAH GO TEAM GEOFF!” Kara exclaimed

“I forgot he could do that.” Kerry said.

Jon ran over to the rope and quickly inspected it. “This should be good.”

“I think we may need Gavin on defense until we bring this asshole down to our level.” Another line of fire came through and Gavin and Barbara quickly dissipated it. “Case and point. Is there anyone else who can shoot a bow and arrow that isn’t Gavin or Barbara?” Geoff asked.

“I actually learned archery when I was young…” Kdin said quietly.

Geoff ran over to Gavin and borrowed his bow and ran it over to Kdin. “Great, you are now becoming an active member of this fight.”

“Wait what?” Kdin asked as Geoff shoved the bow into her hands.

“YO, JON. WHERE DOES HE NEED TO AIM?” 

Jon runs over to Kdin with an arrow with roped tied to the end of it. “Aim for a wing, we just need it out of the air long enough to get on it before it can self-heal so we can deal lasting damage.”

“And the rope?” Kdin asked.

“It’s to pull it down stupid.” Jon said as he rolled his eyes. 

“We only got one shot with the rope. Think you can not fuck it up?” Geoff asked.

“I can sure as hell try.” Kdin said as he aimed.

The dragon dived down to unleash more flames onto the party.

“NOW!” Geoff yelled as Kdin released the arrow. It managed to hit exactly where it needed too. “JOEL, JACK, TURN ON YOUR SUPER GLOWY HANDS AND GRAB THE ROPE BEFROE IT FLIES OFF WITH IT!” Geoff barked.

Joel and Jack ran over to the rope and grabbed it just before it was out of reach. They both yanked the rope hard. The dragon roared as it lost its balance in the sky and came barreling to the ground. It hit the ground with a large thud and the vibration nearly knocked the party over.

 ** _“Do you fools think this is enough to keep me grounded?!”_** The dragon roared.

“Just leveling the plaining field for a moment jackass.” Geoff smirked.

Then the rest of the party charged at the dragon. Both Ray and Jack ran up to its legs and began to slash away at them. Jon and Ryan went after its wings.

 ** _“You cannot keep me trapped on the ground!”_** The dragon screamed. And suddenly, hundreds of endermen spawned into the area.

“Shit, I forgot he could do that…” Kdin said.

“Same.” The rest of Achievement Hunter said.

“YOU SHITDICKS KNEW HE COULD DO THAT?!” Kara yelled.

“Watch your mouth.” Joel said.

“Who cares, let’s just defeat them and defeat the dragon!” Ryan yelled.

“Right.” Kerry said. Finally drawing his sword.

“Kerry, you’re useless.” Ray said as he began to slash at the endermen.

Gavin took his bow back from Kdin. “I’m going to try and still hit the dragon with this now.” Gavin announced. Suddenly he was slapped in the face by and enderman. “OH YOU MINGY LIL’ PRICK!” he yelled as he shot fire out of his hands and lit the enderman in question on fire.

Michael decided to turn himself into his own army. He made seven clones of himself and began for fight a large group of endermen.

“This is the only time seven Michaels will ever be a good thing.” Ryan joked as he slashed through some of the endermen closest to him.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP RYAN!” All seven Michaels yelled at once.

While most of the party was fighting alone, Joel and Burnie had wonder off to the side to start a joint attack.

“You ready to get angry Joel?” Burnie asked.

“It’s not like I’m going to remember any of it, so just do it.” Joel replied. Suddenly both Joel and Burnie’s eyes began to glow blue. “AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Joel screamed as he began to go berserk. He took down multiple endermen at once. Everyone paused in awe of the sight.

“Dude… holy shit…” Jack said.

“My name is Joel Heyman, I’m super strong but also really fucking stupid. Burnie is the smartest and greatest knight ever. He makes good decisions and is also very handsome!” Joel said.

“Uh…” then Joel’s eye’s faded back to normal. “Gross. It tastes like I just gave Burnie a complement.” Joel said as he stuck out is his tongue in disgust.

“Burnie can possess people!” Jon yelled to explain.

“Right.” Then suddenly all of the endermen disappeared.

“Da fuck?” Michael asked. His question of what was going on was quickly answered as the Ender Dragon took off once more.

“SHIT!” Ray yelled.

“It’s going to be a vicious cycle until we get worn out!” Kdin exclaimed.

“Alright where’s Geoff so he can make more rope?” Ryan asked.

“GEOFF?! GEOFF LAZER RAMSEY!” Gavin called out.

“UP HERE!” a faint voiced called out. During the fight with the endermen, Geoff snuck up onto the dragon’s back.

 ** _“You are not worthy to be on my back!”_** the dragon exclaimed.

“Dude, Geoff’s on the fucking dragon.” Ray pointed out.

“Good job president observant.” Burnie replied.

“I’m just calling it as I see it.”

The dragon began to change directions sporadically. **_“How dare you use me as a climbing tool, mortal!”_** it roared as it attempted to shake Geoff off of its back

“How dare you use me and my friends in an attempt at sabotage!” Geoff replied angrily as he held on for dear life. 

**_“You’re lives mean nothing!”_ **

“They mean something to us!” he yelled as he crawled towards the back of the dragon’s neck.

**_“Why risk your life for them? You are a coward at heart!”_ **

“I literally just said it! THEY MEAN SOMETHING!” Geoff said as he thrust his sword into the dragon’s weak spot. Suddenly the dragon began to descend. “SHIT!” Geoff yelled as he and the dragon plummeted to the ground. 

The two of them landed with a loud crash. “GEOFF NO!” The Achievement Hunter’s yelled as they ran over to the crash site.

“Geoff, you were the greatest boss ever.” Ray said sadly.

“I’m not dead. I didn’t even pass out. Everything hurts a lot right now but I’m awake and alive!” Geoff yelled from the crash.

“It’s almost like I can still hear his voice. I can’t believe he’s gone.” Michael said sadly.

“SOMEONE HELP ME UP YOU DOUCHEBAGS!” Geoff screamed. Jack, Joel and Burnie ran over to the crash site and helped him up.

“How are you feeling?” Burnie asked.

Geoff spat out some blood. “Like shit.” As they were stepping away from the dragon, it began to glow purple. “Shit. It’s the intellectual part of the exam.”

**_“Listen all and listen well. You have bested me in strength but you cannot best me in wit. I will revive fully if you cannot answer my question. Or your dragon speaker must give up his life force to contain mine, though that is only temporary” the Ender Dragon preached._ **

“We know.” Ryan said curtly

**_“We shall see how much the life of -“_ **

“JUST ASK THE FUCKING QUESTION?” Geoff yelled.

**_“Mortals know me by the feared name of the Ender Dragon, but I have another, my true name. If you utter it now I will cease to exist.”_ **

“That’s not a question! That’s some Rumpelstiltskin bullshit!” Ryan exclaimed.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Geoff yelled.

“Well fuck.” Barbara said. “We definitely don’t have anything about another name in the legends…” 

“Does this mean we’re boned?” Ray asked.

Kdin stepped forward. “No. you’re not. We’ll take the less desirable outcome, I mean the one where I die but not them.”

“Kdin-” Geoff started.

“No. it’s ok. I know I said I didn’t want to die for you. And I honestly don’t. But after we talked not too long ago, I realized that we can’t always get what he want. You really didn’t want for it to be this way. You care enough about all of us to risk you’re life for us like you did five minutes ago. It was really brave. And I guess this is how I pay it back. Whether it’s the way I wish I could or not, it’s how it has to be. I never thought I’d say this, but it was kind of an honor to fight beside you.” Kdin turned to face the dragon. “Hope you’re ready for another thousand year nap.” Kdin smirked as he began to glow the same shade of purple as the dragon.

“FUCKING DAMMIT!” Geoff yelled. “I READ A FUCKING BOOK FOR THAT GUY!” 

“Wait!” I just remembered something!” Jack said.

“Oh my god what? Kdin is dying!” Gavin yelled.

“Five Facts.” 

“What’s Five Facts?” Kara asked?

“It’s a show that we make back in our home universe where we give five fun facts about games we play.”

“And what does that have to do with anything?” Jon asked.

“Well I remember a while back, we made an episode with a fun fact about Minecraft, the game this world is like, and I remember in the fact, Notch went on reddit and-”

“GET ON WITH IT!” Geoff yelled.

“The dragon’s real name is Jean and she is a girl.” Jack said calmly. “The fact was that the Ender Dragon’s real name was Jean and that she is a girl.”

“Ok. That has got to be the stupidest-” Suddenly Kdin stopped glowing and collapsed on the ground.

 ** _“You have answered my question correctly. You have won.”_** The dragon said as the glow faded, leaving nothing behind.

“Are you serious?” Geoff said. “Jean? Really?” 

Burnie ran over to Kdin to make sure she was still alive. “She’s still breathing but it is shallow. We need to go back to Machinima.”

“Never thought I’d hear those words come out of your mouth.” Geoff murmured. Jack lightly punched his shoulder. “OW!”

“Don’t be a baby. But seriously how do we leave?” Jack asked. Suddenly, another portal opened up on the ground. “Well that is convenient”

“DOES THIS MEAN WE CAN GO HOME NOW?! FUCK YEAH!” Gavin yelled as he ran into the portal. Followed by the rest of the lads.

“But seriously. Can we go home?” Ryan asked.

“Yeah. We won.” Geoff replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [If you don't believe me about the whole Jean thing here is my citation](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNyx5ksC6pA)
> 
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> 
> HTML is tedious as dicks dude. But yeah, Now it's time to wrap things up.


	16. How to Proceed

The rest of the party jumped into the portal quickly, expecting to be transported home. When the light faded, they all realized they were in the same room they started their trip into the End in, the basement of the Machinima castle.

“What the fuck?” Geoff asked, clutching his shoulder.

“What do you mean?” Kerry asked.

“Why didn’t we wake up back in our world? We won right? We beat the dragon permanently. Kdin is alive.”

“Yeah. Barely.” Burnie said, holding Kdin. “Look, I’m going to take her to Miles. I recommend you come along too. Geoff. It would be a good idea to get that shoulder looked at before you go back to the Achievement Kingdom.”

“I don’t want to go back to the Achievement Kingdom. I want to go back home.” Geoff protested.

“Give it a rest Geoff, We’ll figure out what to do.” Jack said as he pushed Geoff towards Burnie. “Lead the way.” He said as he and Geoff followed Burnie out of the room and up the stairs.

“Well we don’t need this anymore.” Jon said as he pulled one of the Eyes of Ender out of the portal, deactivating it.

“Trophy for the kingdom?” Kara asked.

“Yeah.” Jon said as he and Kara too left the room.

“Well. I’m exhausted. Reasonably so. I’m going to bed. Night” Barbara said as she left.

“And I’m going to tell Miles of our victory and make sure messengers get sent. People are going to be happy about this.” Kerry said as he ran off.

“Is that the most useful Kerry is going to be?” Ray asked.

“Probably.” Michael answered. “Gavin what do you think?” Gavin didn’t reply. He was leaning up against the wall sleeping. “I guess you’re all tuckered out boi.”

“Fire is hard.” Joel stated. “Also I’m not helping you carry him upstairs.” Joel said as he left.

“Fine. Asshole.” Michael said as he went over to the wall and picked Gavin up. He slung him over his shoulder and left as well. The only ones left in the basement were Ryan and Ray. 

Ray sighed and sat down against the wall.

“What are you going to sleep against the wall too? Because I will leave you here.” Ryan said.

“No. It’s not as comfortable as it looks. Gavin was just really tired probably. I am too.” Ray replied.

Ryan walked over to the wall and sat down next to Ray. “I think we all are” he said.

“Who said you could sit next to me?”

“What are you going to do? Make me move?”

“No. I couldn’t move you even if I wasn’t fucking exhausted from what we just did.”

“That’s what I fucking thought.”

“Don’t be a bitch.”

“You don’t get to make such hypocritical request.”

“Fucking got me.” Ray laughed. Then his face grew serious. “But Geoff was asking the right questions though.”

“Huh? I wasn’t listening to what he was saying.”

“He was asking why we weren’t home yet.”

“Oh” Ryan said awkwardly. “Right. We are still here aren’t we?”

“Yeah. I mean did we do something wrong? Was Kdin supposed to die?” Ray questioned.

Ryan shook his head. “No, I don’t think he was supposed to die. I’m pretty sure we had the best possible outcome with this.”

“Then why aren’t we home? I just. I really don’t want to be here anymore. Granted I didn’t want to be here from the beginning, but still…” 

“I think we haven’t finished yet.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?! We recruited all the people. We became badasses. We killed the dragon. We _saved_ Kdin. What the fuck else is left to do?!” Ray said angrily.

“Well you know in RPGs when you complete a quest and you have to talk to the person who gave you the quest to get your reward?”

“Yeah…”

“I think fate is making us do that.”

“Are you fucking serious?! Then we still have to stay here for another fucking week!”

“I’m just guessing because that’s how quests worked in Minequest.”

“Minequest?”

“Yeah, the magic mod that brought us here. Remember? With the stupidly named mod maker whose name makes sense now.”

“It’s been so long I barely remember any of that.”

“We talked about dragon boners and having sex with gold.”

“And know I remember why I didn’t remember that. I repressed it. So thanks for that.” Ray said sarcastically.

“No problem.”

“But seriously. I wonder what’s been going on while we’ve been gone. Like, are we all in comas? Or are we just missing? Has time passed at the same rate there as here?”

“These are all important questions.” Ryan said as he pulled himself off of the wall.

“Where are you going?”

“To tell Geoff what happens next. He deserves to know.”

“Well fuck.” Ray said as he also got up. “I’ll go with. If I don’t I probably will pass out on this wall. Then I’ll fuck up my back and it will suck.”

“What are you? Seventy?”

“Fuck off.” Ray said as he walked towards the exit. 

“Hey this was my idea!” Ryan exclaimed as he rushed past Ray to the exit. 

The two of them walked hastily up the stairs because they were too tired to actually run. 

“I just realized that we have no idea where Geoff actually is.” Ray said.

“Fuck. You’re right.”

Then the pair heard shouting from a room down the hall. “STOP TOUCHING ME WITH YOUR WEIRD GLOWY HEALY HANDS ASSHOLE!” 

“Found him.” Ryan said.

“Yeah I know.” Ray replied. The two men walked towards the direction of the screaming. They came across the infirmary. Kdin was laying on one bed and Geoff was laying in another. Jack was sitting in the corner with his head in his hands.

“Oh my god just shut up and let him heal you. Then maybe we’ll go home!” Jack said

“I promise I have a lighter touch than Jack when my hands glow. No offense.” Miles said.

“No way buddy. I’m not falling for that shit again!” Geoff exclaimed.

“You didn’t fall for it the first time really. You knew exactly what was going on when Jack kicked your ass.”

“Shut up!”

“Well this is stupid.” Ray said, making Ryan and his presence known.

“Oh fuck. When did you guys get here?” Geoff asked.

“We haven’t been here for long.” Ryan replied

“Oh good. Then tell Geoff he’s being an irrational little bitch.” Jack said.

“I am not!”

“Yes you are.” Ryan said. “But that’s not why we’re here”

“We know how to get home… probably.” Ray said.

“Well fuck. Out with it! I’m tired and hurt and I stabbed a dragon but fuck this shit.” Geoff said.

“We have to talk to Lindsay.”

“Why?”

“To get our reward and experience points. Talking to her may trigger a way to leave this universe.” Ryan said.

Geoff sighed. “That is fucking bullshit.”

“I never said it wasn’t.”

“Well then, you should probably let me heal you so you can leave sooner.” Miles said.

“No, I think we’ll wait for sleeping beauty to wake up. They need to go home too.” Geoff sighed.

“Gavin or Kdin?” Ray asked.

“Which one do you fucking think?” 

“You never know.” Ray shrugged.

“So we wait then?” Jack asked.

“Yeah. Hopefully not for very long though. Miles should focus on waking her ass up then me.” Geoff replied

“That’s very selfless of you.”

“That’s a lie and you know it.”

“Yep” Jack nodded.

“Ok, I’ll tell Michael and Gavin we’re staying a bit longer.” Ray said as he left.

Ryan sighed. “Video games are stupid.”

“Yep.” Geoff and Jack said simultaneously.

“What’s a video game? It sounds cool.” Miles asked.

“I’m not doing this again. Just shut up and heal me.” Geoff said.

“I thought you didn’t want me too.”

“I know what I’m about son!”

Miles sighed as he began to heal Geoff’s injuries. And thus began the waiting process.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is going to end next week. I'm going to announce things about stuff next week so be prepared for that.


	17. Quest End

After a few days, Kdin woke up. She was surprised to say the least. Miles explained to her what he knew about the battle with the Ender Dragon. She was surprised to find out that they were able to figure out the name of the dragon, and even more so to learn that it was something that they learned in their home universe. Kdin finally understood that people really were unpredictable and that it does not always bode well to look at life in a purely pessimistic light if it doesn’t turn out the way you plan. Sometimes different works.

When Kdin was able to walk again it was time to say goodbye. The other knights from their party had already left Machinima, except for Joel and Burnie for obvious reasons. The Achievement Knight, which they now felt comfortable calling themselves, left with smiles on their faces. They knew that their work was done.

After a few days of traveling, the eager party finally made it back to the Achievement Kingdom.

“Welp. This is it boys.” Geoff said as he looked up at the gate.

“Back to the place where it all began.” Michael said.

“Actually it started back in the office.” Ryan corrected.

“Who cares where it started I just want it finished.” Ray said as he rolled his eyes.

“We’re just about there.” Jack said with a smile.

“I’m going to miss…HAHAHAHAHhAHhahaHAha who am I fucking kidding? This sucked.” Kdin laughed.

“I thought you were going to be less of an arse after Geoff saved you.” Gavin remarked.

“This is my polite face.”

“Yeah, yeah, ok. Can we get in now so we can talk to Lindsay and go fucking home?” Michael said.

“Miss your wife?” Ray asked.

“Shut up.”

Geoff walked up to gate and started banging on the door. “HEY SOMEONE. WE KILLED THE FUCKING DRAGON! LET US IN SO WE CAN GO THE FUCK HOME!” He yelled.

Suddenly the gate swung open. Inside of it were thousands of cheering villagers.

“Well this was unexpected.” Geoff said.

“Well we did just kinda save everyone so…” Kdin said.

“I forgot that there are other people besides the ones we know here.”

“To be fair, they were probably other people in the other kingdoms. We were kind of too absorbed in what we were doing to notice.” Ryan said.

“So you all don’t have any awareness outside of yourselves?” Kdin asked.

“There is a reason for that.”

Then Matt and Jeremy separated from the crowd walked up to them.

“Welcome back.” Matt said with a smile.

“I take it everything went well?” Jeremy asked.

“No shit Sherlock!” Michael exclaimed.

“Kdin’s alive.” Jack added.

“I’m surprised you didn’t kill her.” Matt said.

“Oh there were parts where they almost did. Believe me.” Kdin said. “But I would have deserved it to be honest.”

“We know. You can be an ass sometimes.” Jeremy added.

“Hey I’m not the one who goes potion throwing happy sometimes.” Kdin retorted.

“I thought we weren’t going to talk about that!”

Gavin cleared his throat to get their attention. “This chatter is nice and all, but we would kind of like to speak with the Queen. Like a final report thing.”

“Yeah, we know. We were just about to take you. Do you have any idea how to navigate yourselves though?” Matt asked.

“No.” the group minus Kdin said collectively.

“How are you all still drunk?”

“Long story.”

Matt and Jeremy sighed. “Alright. You know the drill. Follow us.” They both said at the same time as they gestured towards the crowd. 

The group weaved its way through the celebrating crowds to the castle. Once they got there, Matt and Jeremy opened the doors and led them down the bright green entrance hall for the second time. They stopped at a familiar door.

We’re going to have to ask you to wait for a few minutes while we go inform the queen of your arrival.” Jeremy said.

“Really? Were the screaming crowds outside not a good clue?” Jack asked.

“You’d be surprised.”

“I’m sorry but after all this bullshit. Nothing can surprise us anymore.” Geoff said.

The two palace workers just shrugged and exited the room.

“What are you looking forward to most when you get back to your own world?” Kdin asked.

“My Gamerscore.” Ray replied.

“You’re such a loser Ray.” Gavin said.

“We are literally called the mother fucking ‘Achievement Hunters’. My Gamerscore is my job!”

“I think we do more than that.” Ryan said.

“Shut up! I bet you missed Diet Coke the most.”

“My interest are more varied than Diet Coke and being a virtual sociopath!” 

“Michael probably missed getting laid considering how red he gets whenever Lindsay is mentioned.” Gavin teased.

“Fuck off.” Michael replied.

“If we can’t talk about you getting any without you getting quiet then you aren’t allowed to talk.” Ray said.

“Hey Ray, How’s your sex life?”

“What sex life?”

“Ok this has gone to a place that I am no longer comfortable with.” Kdin said.

“How are you not used to this by now.” Jack asked.

“I’m just not.”

Suddenly the door swung open. Lindsay was standing there wearing a long red dress. “Guys!” She yelled as she rushed into the room. “I’m glad you are all ok.” She said as she ran to hug Michael first

“Uh……” Michael said.

“OH MY GOD IT’S NOT LIKE YOU AREN’T BANGING AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE VERSION OF HER STOP ACTING LIKE YOUR TWELVE!” Geoff yelled.

“Uh Geoff, number one: that’s really inappropriate to say about a queen when she right in front of you. Number two: She probably doesn’t have any idea about the alternate universe stuff.” Kdin said.

“Uh, Kdin, Number one: I don’t give a shit. I’ve heard worse. Fuck, I’ve said worse. And Number two: I received a message from the Machinima Kingdom explaining every single last detail about the situation.” Lindsay replied as she let go of Michael.

“So you know about how the legend goes?” Gavin asked.

“Yep.”

“And how Kdin was supposed to die but we saved her?” Jack asked

“Yep”

“And that we permanently killed the Ender Dragon?” Ray asked.

“Yep.”

“And that we are actually from another universe and that we aren’t actually you’re knights?” Ryan asked.

“Yep. And that last part is a shame because I was planning on finally trying to actually court Michael when you got back because I’m sick of the two of us dancing around our mutual attractions to each other. But I see that Alternate universe me has got that covered.” Lindsay said.

“Yes. She does. And I don’t know how to feel about you’re flirting with me because you’re her but you also aren’t her. It’s really fucking weird.” Michael said.

“That has got to be the most articulate thing you’ve said to her.” Geoff said.

“Fuck off. You were awkward around this universes Griffon for the five minutes you saw her in the black smith’s shop.” 

“Hey, that was kind of different.”

“NO IT WASN’T GEOFF!”

“Ok, flustered men is interesting and all, but I would kind of like my original knights back.” Lindsay said.

“Well. I think you have to verbally say that we did our quest to completion. Tell us we can go.” Ryan said.

“I thought that was an unspoken thing.”

“Well try actually saying. You gave us the quest. You say when it is over.” Ray said.

“Ok then.” Lindsay cleared her throat. “As queen of the Kingdom of Achievement and the giver of the Quest to Defeat the Ender Dragon, I hereby declare that that your quest is complete. You have slayed the Ender Dragon and you have saved us all. As you’re reward, you may now return to your own plane of existence to continue to live out your lives as they were meant to be.” 

Suddenly a bright purple light began to glow on the far wall. “What the fuck is that?” Kdin asked. The light began to swirl and expand until it took up the entire wall.

“I think it worked…” Jack said.

“That’s our ticket out!” Gavin exclaimed.

“Thank you all. For everything.” Lindsay said sincerely.

“None of this played out how I expected. But that is ok I guess.” Kdin said sheepishly.

“We did what we had to do didn’t we?” Geoff asked.

“I’m actually glad things happened the way they did.” 

“I figured you’d be happier not dead.”

“So… thanks. For not letting me die.” 

“No problem buddy.”

“GEOFF COME ON!” Ray yelled.

“So I guess this is goodbye?” Kdin asked

“You’ll see us. Just not us, us. But I think it’s probably better. You’ll get to know the version of us you should have met from the beginning.”

“Geoff please hurry up.” Jack said.

“So… it’s more of a seeya.” Geoff said as he walked towards the portal.

“It was nice meaning you all in the end.” Kdin smiled as she waved to the group.

“Goodbye! Be safe!” Lindsay yelled.

“You too.” Geoff said as he led the rest of the Achievement Hunters through the portal.

The Achievement Hunters were finally on their way home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end but also one more chapter for wrap up.


	18. Collective Fever Dream

“Guys?” a faint voice said as the main six slowly regain consciousness. “Guys?!” the voice said louder.

Geoff slowly lifted his head off of his desk. “Wha..?”

“Ok, so you’re alive.” Kdin said as she walked over towards Geoff’s desk. 

Slowly the rest of the Achievement Hunters lifted their heads off of their desks as well.

“Jesus… how long have we been gone? What day is it?” Jack asked.

“What do you mean how long have you been gone? It’s Tuesday.”

“Huh?” Geoff asked in confusion.

“Yeah, you guys were going to play test a Minecraft mod Ryan found. But then you all passed out at the same time. You all were out for about fifteen minutes. I figured it would be a good idea to make sure you weren’t dead.” Kdin said. 

“So was none of that real?” Gavin asked groggily.

“None of what? Did you have a weird dream?”

“Yeah.” Ray said. “Everything was all weird fantasy stuff and you were there and you were an asshole.” 

“Thanks. Glad to know that’s how you really feel about me.” Kdin said sarcastically.

“Yeah, I had a dream like that too.” Ryan said.

“Was that mod on drugs or something? Did we all have the same dream?” Michael asked.

“It felt so real. Like we actually fought a dragon. And I had fire hands!” Gavin said.

“It sounds like you all had the same dream.” Kdin said. “And you all passed out at the same time. It’s like some weird inter-dimensional force made you all pass out and dream together. Wow that sounds stupid when I say it out loud,” she speculated.

“It’s stupid and it’s exactly the explanation we got in the dream itself.” Ray said.

“Holy shit.” 

“You’re telling us!” Jack said.

Kdin paused. “Ok… so, now that you’re awake you can go back to doing your thing I guess. Also one of the Xbox controllers seemed to disappear out of thin air while you were asleep so I’m gonna go look for that.” Geoff’s eyes widened. “What?”

“I wouldn’t worry about the missing Xbox controller. We’ll order a new one. It’s a lost cause.” Geoff said.

“Uh… why?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Ok then...” Kdin said as she began to go back to the editor’s room.

“And if anyone asks you about rope going missing, don’t worry about that either!” Geoff called out after him.

“I’ll be sure to do that…” Kdin said as she closed the door.

“So I guess there was another layer to your powers?” Ryan questioned.

“I don’t even know or care at this point.” Geoff replied. 

“Oh gross I drooled all over my arm!” Michael said as he began to wipe it off on Gavin.

“Michael please!” Gavin squawked as he quickly ducked underneath his desk to avoid the drool. Michael laughed.

“Gavin stop being stupid.” Ryan said.

“But Ryan…”

“I’m just glad everything can go back to normal. And I can have my Lindsay and not have a version from another dimension flirt with me and confuse me.” Michael said.

“Ha! You’re whipped!” Lindsay yelled from the other room.

“Yeah. Everything is back t-” Jack was cut off by the sound of the door opening. Blaine was standing in the doorway.

“Hey guys? We’re missing some-” he started to say before he was cut off by Geoff.

“No we don’t know where your rope is. Stop asking about it. It’s long gone. Go buy more.” Geoff said as he quickly got up and slammed the door in Blaine’s face. He locked the door and went back to his desk.

“This is exactly why everyone thinks we’re douchebags.” Ryan said.

“If you haven’t noticed, we _are_ douchebags.” Michael said.

“I’m not.” Gavin said.

“YES YOU ARE!” the rest of the group yelled in response.

“But as Jack was saying. Everything is back to normal.” Geoff said with a smile. Then he turned back to his computer. The title screen for Minequest was still up. “Ok, so we are all in agreement that we’re not fucking playing this mod right? Ryan you’re not sad about that are you? If you are you can suck it up because there is no way in hell we are doing that again.” Geoff said.

“Nope. I’m not sad. Fuck that mod.” Ryan said.

“Thank fucking Christ.” Michael said as he exited out of the window on his computer. The rest of Achievement Hunter quickly did the same.

“No more Minecraft mods. Maybe no more Minecraft altogether please?” Ray asked.

“You’re not that lucky.” Geoff said.

“Aw.” Ray said sadly.

Then Geoff got up and walked to the white board. He wiped the words “Minequest” off of the board. “Alright, so what do you want to do now that we apparently wasted fifteen minutes? Do you guys want to film ‘Go!’ or do you want to film a ‘Things to do in GTA’? I think we can take a break from Minecraft until later.” he asked.

“I know I said fuck that mod, but for some reason I want to try ‘Magic the Gathering’ again.” Ryan said sheepishly.

“HELL FUCKING NO!” the rest of Achievement Hunter yelled.

“You’re right. That was a fucking terrible idea.” Ryan admitted.

“’Go!’ it is then” Geoff decided for the rest of the group. 

And then everything was right with the Achievement Hunters once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONGRATULATIONS TO ME ON ACTUALLY FINISHING A FANFIC! But seriously, this was a ride for me. When I came up with this AU back in September, I never actually had plans to write the whole thing. But then I changed my mind, to spite my roommate (she said I wouldn’t do it but here we are) and because I had been sitting on it for so long. And I’m glad I could share it with you guys. Now on to business. While I don’t have any active plans to write these at the moment, there are a few stories that take place within the Minequest verse that can be told. So if I am in the mood, I will go back and write them. Those supplementary stories will work in the same way DR: MEANWHILE works. Speaking of which, Cicco and I are proud to announce that **Dangan Roosters 2: Goodbye Sanity** will be starting TOMORROW. It is going to be longer, stupider, and crazier than the first and boy do we have some shit planned for that. The only thing about it is that if you haven’t read the first one, you will need to read it to understand what’s going on. Along with DR2, Cicco and I are also going to be working on another story. This one will be a giant crack fic called, **Ryan and Ray Destroy the Internet**. That one does not have an exact ETA for release but it will most likely be worked on at the same time as DR2. And that is the state of affairs. If have any questions,[you know where to find me](http://rejectedusername-trashfics.tumblr.com/) . Happy readings
> 
> -Reject
> 
> PS: If you are interested in becoming our beta for DR2 please contact me through my tumblr. I know there were a ton of spelling and grammatical errors in the first one, and we’d like to avoid that this time around even though we are going to write whether or not we actually get a beta. We don’t plan on having a beta for RRDTI due to the nature of the fic.

**Author's Note:**

> What's up guys. Reject here. Welcome to my first solo project in this fandom. I'm writing this for myself to prove to myself that I'm not a on trick pony and can totally come up with a more original idea. I will be posting this work on my tumblr as well as here. This story is not going to have an update schedule and probably will be a bit sporadic until Dangan Roosters is finished. I'll be slowly reposting that probably starting next week. It honestly depends on what the atmosphere is by then.


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